WRITING YOUR WAY TO A DECISION
You’re sitting in your big chair in the living room. Staring into space. The TV is on but you have put it on mute. You don’t want the noise.
You may have called in sick today. You are not. But you are sick at heart because of a problem that will not go away. It hangs on and on and you don’t know how to solve it. It could be personal – business – family.
It doesn’t matter what it is. You are stuck. You can’t go forward and you can’t go back. You feel paralyzed. And you are afraid.
You’ve thought about calling a friend but you really don’t want to talk about it right now. You should probably go out for a walk but it is too much effort. You don’t even want to put a load of wash on.
We have been there. All of us.
There is only one thing I have found that works. It does require a little effort but not too much. Get up and find a yellow pad. And a pen. Start writing. Write about the news you are seeing on the TV on the banner that is going by. Write about your paralysis. Write about the cleaning you should have dropped off yesterday. The laundry that is not done. Just keep writing. Write about any thought that comes into your head. Write without punctuation. Write and write until you feel your hand will fall off.
After about one and a half pages, an interesting thing happens. You start writing about your problem. Curse it. Defame. Criticize. Complain. Bewail your fate. Talk about your hopelessness in solving it. Get mad. Really mad. No one is going to read this, so you can say anything you want on that paper. Write things you would be ashamed to say out loud, even to yourself. About this time, your brain, which knows everything, will start to clear a little. Strange and weird solutions start coming out on the paper. That’s OK. We are not trying to solve anything. We are just writing.
By page three, you are coming into a point where you are going to start examining your options. Most of them are bad but keep going. This process may not enable you to make a decision. But it does one very important thing. It clears some of the blocks in your mind which are preventing you from taking action. Gets them out of the way.
OK. Stop. Do not read what you have written. You can even tear the pages up and throw them in the garbage. Or burn them in the sink. You should be able to get out of your chair now. Do not expect too much of yourself. Ask yourself the question, “What is the next right thing I can do for myself right now?” It could be brushing your teeth. Maybe taking a shower. Having a bowl of cereal.
You have just gone through a self exorcism. You need some time to recover. Let the problem go for now. No decisions today. Tomorrow is another day.
Consider doing this writing again and again. Until everything is extremely clear in your mind. Your subconscious mind knows the answer to your problem and exactly what to do.
Let this wisdom speak to you in your own time frame.
Don’t rush the answers. They may not be pretty. But, they will come.
This article was inspired by Julia Cameron’s wonderful book, The Artist’s Way
Good advice, Corinne! Therapists recommend this approach to relieving stress and forming answers. It is also recommended you write down your goal(s)to give you the mindset to achieve them. Some may be reluctant to try because, “I’m a lousy writer. I find it difficult to express myself on paper and hate to write letters”. But as you point out,Corinne, “doesn’t matter!” Remember the best seller, “Conversations With God”? The author claims he had an urge to write one day and it was as if his hand were guided without his own conscious thought. Whether you believe this or not, he had never written a book before and suddenly he is a best selling author. (This is fact!) Something went on…somethin went on as he was writing. That’s why your advice is so important. Something will go on with us if we just write! The human mind is a mysterious and wonderful thing!
That’s exactly why I started my blog. I needed to write what I was going through and it has helped enormously.
Thanks Corinne, lucid and valuable.
Corinne:
Another way to open the door to creativity would be to answer some emails. Believe it or not, when I’m writing a response (or even commenting on other people’s blogs), I find the words sometimes come through in torrents, like a fast-flowing river. The answers seem to appear in my responses to other people’s email or blog articles.
It’s pretty amazing.
Corinne, thanks for the words of wisdom in this post. I have a friend that is going through some emotional stuff right now. I am going to suggest that she do this. I think I will even buy a notebook and give to her along with a copy of this article to get her started. I have used this process myself with very good results in the past. This is how I have written some of my blog posts as well.
Sandi - When I began going “through” my divorce and especially the years afterward, I had written so much on my yellow legal pads that it took me about 4 days to shred all my writings — I found them everywhere, lingerie drawers, stuffed into the craziest places. I lived in a condo at that time so I was careful not to shred constantly as not to disturb others. I had bags and bags of shredded yellow paper. So writing is especially important to me and my growth. I continue it - I also burn some of it (I like ceremonies at times) but mostly I write and shred or write on my computer and delete. This kind of writing is for my eyes only and knowing that - I can get totally honest with myself. Oftentimes my handwriting changes and my guides are able to send me information. I thought I was crazy when this began to happen, but later read that it is called “automatic writing”. It could be a guide or my higher self - all I know -it is not me but it works…..I love this saying “How do I know what I think until I see what I write”.
Dear Reed -
As usual, an intelligent and thoughtful comment. Thanks.
Yes, I do know about Conversations With God and I know Neale Donald Walsch personally. He is a wonderful man and very humble in his discussion of his book. I interviewed him twice on my TV show - and when the question was asked, “Why did God choose to speak to you?” his answer always was because I asked Him to and was willing to listen. He claims that God is speaking to all of us all the time.
Dear Sandi - and Stephen -
Yes, I do believe that you two do use your blogging as an answer to many questions in your life and for inspiration.
Personally, I feel the connection of the hand to actual paper, not the computer, has a special meaning. But, whatever works!
Of course, words hand written can be transferred to the computer. I write portions of my articles by hand. Usually, in the morning when I am having coffee. My head is not cluttered with the dailyness of the day yet.
Dear Patricia -
Thanks for passing on this article to friends. I do the same with your articles which are very helpful to people.
That’s what we bloggers in the personal growth - self help field do to support many people we may never know.
Dear Grace -
As I said to Patricia - you, as a commentator, are acting as a vehicle for Sandi - a person you don’t even know I am sure.
And to many others who read your words.
Thank you for being such a faithful contributor to the conversation!
Dear Evan -
I like that you said the article was “lucid!” And that you found it valuable.
Let us know how it works for you.
As someone mentioned above, this is why I got started writing a blog, too. I always was afraid to write and considered myself a horrible writer. I was never brave enough even to call myself “a writer.” Not because I couldn’t put pen to paper, but because I thought my words, thought, ideas were silly and–boring/unoriginal.(”Nothing new here!”) And there were people in my school that were already accomplished and had already impressed my teachers/professors. (Someone had already won the award–that spot was taken.)
But writing for writing’s sake (or writing to exorcise an idea/thought) is highly therapeutic, which is why I recommend everyone start a blog. (Or at least start with a yellow pad…) Thanks again, great inspiration here!
Dear Lucy Dee -
First, I went to your site and found you an excellent writer! You are far too modest.
And we all need more comedy in our lives! Sometimes, it gets grim.
But, my main point in answering you is that all problems in life are pretty univrsal - but each person is unique.
You could come up, out of your experience, with an idea that may feel like it is “Nothing new here” but could be a real AHA moment for someone else. Because you have stated it in your new way!
Keep writing. You are good at it!
This is a keeper, I’ve tagged it on del.icio.us for future reference to help give me an anchor when I get into this place again. I know that writing helps but I don’t always do it. I have a pile of journals from ages ago that I should probably burn now :).
I also have Julie Cameron’s book, it’s really wonderful and highly recommend it to anyone who wants to rediscover their creativity.
How interesting that you know and have interviewd Neal Donald Walsch, author of “Converssations With God”. I do agree that God speaks to all of us. But we must listen. Indeed, “intuition” may be a form of God-speak.
Did you ever ask Neal Donal Walsch if his hand holding pen actually did write very much like on a “wegie board” where he had no conscious control? What did he say?
Great article. I love Julia Cameron’s work and have studied with her, around her, and taught her stuff. It applies in many ways. The whole creativity/spiritual/groundedness/soul purpose can be wrapped in one package called HUMAN. Writing and creativity helps release it all.
Hi Corinne - Great advice. I’ve done this a lot in the past, and it really does make you feel better to get all that stuff down on paper doesn’t it?
great advice. I write to release every day.
Dear Reed -
Neale said, as I remember, that it was not automatic writing. He asked the questions on a yellow pad of paper and the answers were dictated to him in his head. Then, he just wrote down what he heard. He says anyone can do this if they listen.
Dear Michelle -
I was really lucky to interview Julia Camerson on two of her books. She is an extraordinary person but does not like to be interviewed. Sonia Choquette. one of her close friends, finally convinced her to come on my show.
All of her writing is so original because it comes from her own difficulties in life.
Dear Catherine and Kenna -
Thanks for joining the conversation. It does help to get it on paper.
I think the important thing is not to read it later.
Dear Cheryl -
Thanks for reminding me of all my old journals. I have to dig them out and destroy them in case I die and my kids find out what a nut their mother was!
Thanks for making my article a “keeper!” I appreciate it so much!
Thank you for this. I just followed through it all, and almost wrote 3 pages. It was kind of hard, but I think I’ll do it again. Maybe not tomorrow, we’ll see. Thanks for this anyway. I didn’t think it would help, but I am sure it has.
Alex
Dear Alex -
Congratulations! You not only read the article - you did it!
Don’t give up on it. As you go along, you will really hit some interesting pay dirt!
Let us know how it goes.
Hi Corinne,
Thanks for sharing this method. I have yet to try it but I can sense its power.
This is something I can use or apply in the future.
Dear Raymond -
Glad you enjoyed the article -
But TRY IT!
The future is now. Today.
Always appreciate your comments!
Warmly,
Corinne
Hey Corrine,
Phenomenal suggestion. The only thing I would add would be for people like me who are too lazy to write it out or maybe get a video camera and record themselves talking through the problem.
Dear Mwangi -
I say WHATEVER WORKS.
My suggestion of writing it down is what works for me. But the objective is to get your skeletons out of the closet. So, you can look at your problems more objectively.
I want to particulary mention that you are doing some wonderful work on your blog. Congratulations!
Thank you very much. I think I am blushing
This is an interesting technique Corinne. Especially the part about not reading what you have written. i would not have thought of that but it makes sense. Given that you have just written stuff that you may never have acknowledged in any other way.
Hi Karen (Karooch)
(For starters, please tell us what name you prefer!)
Yes, not reading it is important because in doing so you are churning up all the stuff you just exorcised. You want to let it just lay there. Not recycle it.
The objective is to clear the way for a more objective seeing.
This is not an easy process. It is a journey. Not a road. If you have made progress on clearing the boulders, you want them behind you. Not following you.
They might anyway - but let’s not encourage that.
Corinne,
Great article.
I have a question. How do you know when it’s time to use this technique? I have been in the “fertile void” for a couple of months now. I quit my job and have been paying my bills as a writer which is a new career for me But, I know there’s something important I’m to do beyond what I’m currently doing yet I feel like this is the time for me to just be with the unknown and let this life transition unfold without rushing to action. Maybe I’ve just answered my own question but do you have a way to know when it’s ok to have no next thing to do and when it’s time to move forward?
Hi Sol -
The answer is that you already know. You just have not heard it yet.
I think writing randomly like this could uncover some amazing information you have.
Why not try it for a few weeks every day? Expect that you will start getting a little clarity after you get past about a page and a half.
By the way, what’s wrong with being a writer?
Corinne,
Ok, you’ve got me intrigued. I’ll play along and write every day for a few weeks and see what arises. It’ll be a nice adjunct to my other spiritual practices.
There’s nothing wrong with being a writer. I love it. I made a conscious decision to write and I’m delighted that in only a couple of months that this new career is paying my bills with only a part-time engagement. (My subconscious (or soul) typed “bliss” instead of “bills” the first time I typed the word!) I feel that there is a big piece of mission for me that is wanting to unfold, which will probably involve writing. I’m just impatient with myself at times and forget to enjoy the process. That’s all.
Sol, what a wonderful place you are in! I love your play on the words bliss and bills. These days my partner and I both write like mad on the weekends because our jobs demand too much of us during the week. I have decided that in a year I am retiring and I am devoting full time to the internet and writing. I’m impatient to get there! Once I get there, who knows, but having that time “in the unknown” is vital to our growth, no matter what we do or where it takes us. Good luck to you!
Cheryl,
Thank you for the compassionate words. I left a career in high tech to pursue making a living through writing and Internet marketing. The writing part is firmly established. I’m still in my infancy re Internet marketing.
I wish you the best on your journey. Life journeys can be very rich!