Do you worry?

I hear a faint “no” in the background.  That’s OK.   We know you are lying but you can hang out with the rest of us anyway.

A friend told me she has the answer.  She sits by her bedroom window and visualizes a little toy train.  The locomotive has a flag that says “Listen Universe!  I can’t handle these.  You take them and get back to me.”

The rest of the trains are open cars.  She put a worry in each car and sends the train rolling up into the night sky.

She says it makes her feel better.  I say, whatever helps.

My mother’s favorite quote was “90% of the things we worry about never happen.  Other things happen.”  Then she would add, “So, if you don’t know what is going to happen, why worry about it?” 

There are people who feel that worrying is their job.  If they worry enough, nothing bad will happen.  They are holding it all together for the rest of us with their worrying.  Somebody has to do it.

But, according to the gurus lately, they say what we focus on expands in our lives.

The Power of Intention people agree.  Worry, according to them, sends a signal to the Universe so that those things come true.  Scary thought.

All good reasons to quit worrying.  But how do we stop?  There seems to be so much uncertainty.  Our whole life can change radically with one phone call.

The real definition of worry is FEAR.  So, the first step is to label it.  By labeling it you divide it out from the reality that is actually happening.

The Gestalt therapists used to advise that we asked the question, “Is anything hurting you now?”

The answer is usually nothing.  What is hurting us is the fear that something unknown is out there just waiting to come in and take over our life.  Or, that of a loved one.

So, the next question is, “What can I do about something that has not happened?”

The answer is again, nothing.

The truth is, when something really bad has happened in the past, we somehow have handled it.  It is the devil we know.  It is not something lurking out there.  We may not like it but there are steps we took to handle the situation.  We are resourceful.  We are smart.  We have done it and can do it again if we have to.

A lot of fear can be alleviated by taking action.

Your license plates have expired.  You can’t buy them until payday.  You’re worried you are going to get a ticket.  Don’t drive your car.  Take public transportation – get a ride.  Then you don’t have to worry.

Your doctor has suggested a CT scan.  You are worried.  He gave you the forms but you haven’t called to book the exam.  Call.  Get an appointment.  Then, try not to worry until he gets the results.  You have taken action.  It is a start.

You are short this month.  Your mortgage is going to be late.  You are reading about all the foreclosures in the paper.  You’re worried.

You can be sure of one thing.  Your bank does not want your house.  They are not in the real estate sales business.  Call them.  Tell them when you can pay or make other arrangements.  Don’t sit there and wait for the sheriff.

Same advice for credit card debt or the IRS.  Never let these people come to you.  Go to them.  Call ten times until you get a supervisor who has some power.  They don’t want to go to the trouble of suing you or garnishing your salary.  They want to hear from you.  Do it.

If we take the initiative regarding many of our worries, the pressure will lessen.  We may still have the problem but we have done something to begin to solve it.

The rest of the worries we can’t do anything about unless they happen.

Keep your Power of Intention strong.  Expect the best things to happen.  Anticipate your vibrant health.  Have confidence that you are resourceful and in your ability to handle your life as it comes along.

When trouble comes – as it does from time to time – you’ll deal with it. You’ve done it for years.  Why would you stop now?

In the meantime, get out your old Bob Marley DVD and dance around in your living room to “Don’t worry!  Be happy!” 

It’s impossible to worry while you’re dancing.