WHEN YOU’VE LOST YOUR JOB

Nothing is quite as devastating than the loss of a job. It is almost like a breakup with someone you thought was your life partner.

Nothing makes you feel more unworthy. We turn it on ourselves immediately with the thought, “What did I do wrong?”

You thought everything was fine. The job was going well you thought – so it has to be you.

It isn’t easy when every artery is open. But there are a few steps you could consider.

LOVE YOURSELF RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE

That’s right. Right now. With all your faults, your guilt, your flaws, your pain. You have heard a lot about forgiveness, but you have forgiven almost everyone except you. Not a person in the world is as hard on you as you are.

If you had a friend who is going through what you are, wouldn’t you have compassion? You are trudging a tough, rough road. You’ve had so many disappointments, so many hardships in your life to face and try to overcome. This one feels the worst.

Decide today to be your friend. Love your perceived faults. Reach out to yourself and excuse all your imperfections. Just for today.

If you fall again tomorrow, give yourself a break. Love yourself for falling. That little kid in you deserves love. You have searched for someone who will love you unconditionally, without any judgment. And, do you know what? That person or job may not exist. You may have to give up the idea they can be found. You have to give love to yourself to get the love you need.

People who make mistakes are heroes. Anyone can stand back and timidly let the world go by. You showed up for the experience. You took risks. Put yourself on the line. You loved a lot.

Sure you have done things that weren’t perfect. Doesn’t everyone? Aren’t things bad enough without your hating yourself too?

Of course you know you have to get busy right away to replace your job but you feel paralyzed. You don’t know where to start.

You might start by taking care of you. Small things. Buy yourself a little gift. Force yourself to exercise. Get a haircut. Take a walk in the park. Buy a little bouquet of flowers for your kitchen. Don’t deprive yourself of basic needs. Splurge on new underwear. Get some vitamins and take them. Pamper you. You have gotten very sick because you have had a big shock. Be nice to you. Cherish this sweet person that you are.

Today is the day to start to love you. To cradle yourself in your arms and remind yourself of all the nice things you have done for people in the past – what a beautiful and giving person you are inside.

You are worthwhile. You’re not too old, too fat, too stuck. Focus only on your good points and they will expand. You have many credits to your name. Make a list of them. Refuse to listen to that critical voice in your mind. You can control what you think about. Read the list over and over.

TAKE ACTION

Okay, you’ve done a lot of work on loving yourself and you’re starting to think that maybe you are worth saving. Except for one thing. The problem is still there. You’re still in it. You can’t seem to break the circle. You are convinced that the lesson is learned but there still doesn’t seem to be any way out of the classroom. You can’t find the door.

It may be time now to take action. Tough, loving, firm action. You will know when it’s time. The click happens. You’ve had it. The pain is out and it is not sweet. It is just pain.

You know the drill. Your resume has not been updated for years. Start there. You have to be as ruthless and determined to get out of your disappointed as you have wallowed in it. That same energy must be employed now. Print up some generic business cards. Choose the companies who could use your talents and haunt their web pages for job opportunities. Contact them.

This is not the time to quit your business clubs to save money. They are networking opportunities for you. You have friends there and even have groups you can join.

The main thing you are battling is FEAR. Write out your panic for twenty minutes a day, put the paper in a covered container and say, “See you later!” That fear is killing you. The life you are saving is yours.

Unless your old friends at your former job are networking opportunities for you, it is probably best to stay out of contact now. It is tempting to get information about who else may be laid off but this will keep the wound open.

You must tell your old friends you don’t want to hear what your former company is doing. You don’t want to hear what’s happening with them. It doesn’t matter if this person asks about you. If they say they miss you. You can’t afford to care about these things. Maybe later. Not now. This has to be a total break.

You are recovering from major surgery. Be prepared to be alone while you’re making new contacts. You’re going to be lonely but you can’t hang around in the old neighborhood.

Make the calls. Send the emails. Get some stamps. Write the letters. Get going.

The business news is all bad. They dwell on the unemployment rate over and over. Turn it off.

If the rate is 6% that means that 94% are working. Those are pretty good odds for you. You are employable. You were once. You will be again!

I like Goethe’s quote which says,

“WHATEVER YOUR CAN DO, OR DREAM YOU CAN, BEGIN IT!

BOLDNESS HAS GENIUS, POWER AND MAGIC IN IT.”