At first, I had a lot of attention from friends. I was included in activities just as I had when I was married.
Then, slowly, it started to change. I was still invited to the big parties but not to the dinner parties or the pizza on Friday nights. That seemed to be just for couples. I still had a relationship with the “girls” for lunch and I spent time with my kids but it left many evenings open.
The absence of the stress and medical crisis I had shared with my husband for years had left this big void – a big empty space. I tried to remember what occupied my time before it all happened. I realized for the first time that this is a couple’s world.
Going to a wedding or a big occasion was torture. There you are all dressed up sitting alone at an empty table with no one asking you to dance.
Did you get a lot more advice now? I did.
“When are you going to sell the house? It’s too big for you.”
“Life goes on you know.
You’re still attractive. Get out there and find someone.”
“Watch out for the gold-diggers. They are looking for someone like you.”
“Get involved in some activities. You’ll meet some new people.”
“You should join a widow’s support group.”“Have you thought about working at something different? It would be good for you to get out.”
“You should travel more. Get out there.”
Everything seemed to have something to do about getting out. I owned a travel agency at the time so I did have a job.
But I found myself longing to go home to my big chair in the living room. I thought about that chair all day. It was a safe place. And I didn’t want to travel alone.
After a few months as a recluse in my house, I thought maybe I should venture out a little. Suppose they were all right?
What do you think?
This is an excerpt.
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