Comments on: WHEN YOUR HUSBAND HAS DIED – A Survival Guide http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/ FROM THE EVERYDAY . . . TO THE SLIGHTLY OUTRAGEOUS . . . TO THE EVERLASTING . . . WE COVER IT HERE! Sat, 13 Mar 2010 19:10:07 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Lori http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/comment-page-11/#comment-47180 Lori Fri, 12 Mar 2010 23:34:18 +0000 http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/#comment-47180 Wow--thanks for researching this Cheryl. It's nice to know men feel like we do. I asked my kids how they think dad would have reacted had the situation been reversed. They thought he would have had more melt downs and been an emotional wreck. That things wouldn't be as "stable" (if that's the right word) in the house. Maybe us women are really the backbone. It's funny, Paul McCartney felt just like us. Wow–thanks for researching this Cheryl. It’s nice to know men feel like we do. I asked my kids how they think dad would have reacted had the situation been reversed. They thought he would have had more melt downs and been an emotional wreck. That things wouldn’t be as “stable” (if that’s the right word) in the house. Maybe us women are really the backbone. It’s funny, Paul McCartney felt just like us.

]]> By: Corinne http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/comment-page-11/#comment-47176 Corinne Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:29:46 +0000 http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/#comment-47176 Dear Cheryl - and other dear ones - Don't know why you could not post. There is a new policy on this blog that I must approve every comment. So there could have been a delay in seeing your comment. Some crazies started sending spam - hundreds of them. Not on this site, by the way. On articles I wrote long ago. But it still clogs up my blog. Had to stop the comments from going through to control it. Seems have stopped now. Put an extra spam filter on. Looks like it is working. Sorry if any of you have to wait. I get to yours - especially yours - as fast as I can. Your comments are ALWAYS approved. They are a priority for me. Dear Cheryl – and other dear ones -

Don’t know why you could not post.

There is a new policy on this blog that I must approve every comment.
So there could have been a delay in seeing your comment.

Some crazies started sending spam – hundreds of them.

Not on this site, by the way. On articles I wrote long ago. But it still clogs up my blog.

Had to stop the comments from going through to control it. Seems have stopped now.

Put an extra spam filter on. Looks like it is working.

Sorry if any of you have to wait. I get to yours – especially yours – as fast as I can.

Your comments are ALWAYS approved.

They are a priority for me.

]]> By: Cheryl Harrell http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/comment-page-11/#comment-47174 Cheryl Harrell Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:18:47 +0000 http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/#comment-47174 For days I was not able to post. I tried 3 different browsers and it would not post. Hope this post and my last one goes thru. I feel like I can relate to Paul McCartney of the Beatles and his sadness at the passing of his late first wife Linda. It reminds me of Mike and I. I read where Paul and Linda only spent a few nites apart from each other in all their yrs of marriage . Mike and I never spent a nite apart in 23 yrs of marriage. I found on the internet some quotes of Paul that touched me and I could relate with. So I thought I'd share them here. THis is only the relevant quotes and not the whole article. "For about a year, I found myself crying—in all situations, anyone I met. Anyone who came over, the minute we talked about Linda, I'd say, 'I'm sorry about this. I've got to cry.' " " MCCARTNEY: And so, sorry. What was your question? I was fooling around here. Larry King : Linda. Dealing with loss. MCCARTNEY: How do you deal with loss? KING: I mean, this was a someone you were with for how many years? 30 years? MCCARTNEY: I cried -- I -- 30 years. I cried a lot. KING: You knew it was coming. MCCARTNEY: Yeah, yeah. We knew it was coming, but you -- we tried to pretend we didn't know it was coming. The last couple of weeks, I knew it was coming. I don't know. It's just impossible to talk about it. KING: I don't want to dwell on it. Do you get angry? MCCARTNEY: No. No, not really angry. No. I cried a lot. That was the truth of the matter. I just thought -- some friends of mine, particularly some of the doctors who were kind of advising, said: "Throw yourself into work. Get busy. Do stuff, do stuff." And I just couldn't. So I just thought, "That doesn't sound right to me." So I didn't do anything. I just let it all happen. So sometimes I'd be sitting around people and just burst out crying. And instead of doing the manly thing and saying, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't do it." I would just go, "Oohhh," and just cried a lot. KING: In a business where women are at your fingertips, I mean, rock stars -- and who's bigger than the Beatles? -- how did your relationship last so long? MCCARTNEY: We loved each other. Quite simple. I think what the other thing was we'd both sown our wild oats before we got together. So I'd known a lot of girls, she'd known a lot of guys, and I think we were kind of fed up with playing the field by the time we got together. And we loved each other. So we were able to say: "You know what? Let's knock that stuff on the head and let's get it on."" McCartney 'cries over Beatles songs' Sir Paul McCartney has revealed that he often gets emotional when he performs songs that remind him of The Beatles and his late wife Linda. The singer, who kicks off his European tour in Germany on December 2, admitted that he isn't worried about shedding a tear on stage when he thinks about his former bandmates. "You are in contact with them again through the songs. In a way I'm revisiting them. It's sad and emotional," he said. "I couldn't have done it when I was 18 years old because I would not have allowed myself to cry or go anywhere near that stuff. But now it's OK. I'm used to it." More quotes from another article: She was his best friend, his wife, his lover, in 30 years of marriage, Paul McCartney barely spent a night away from Linda. Now in a heart-searching interview with Rebecca Hardy of The Daily Mail, Sir Paul tells the full story of their inspirational romance and Linda’s courageous battle against breast cancer. The former Beatle says he kept the terrible knowledge from the woman he refers to as “my girlfriend, lover and wife”, believing she would prefer not to know. ‘I knew a week or so before she died,’ he says. ‘I was the only one who knew. One of the doctors said she ought to be told but I didn’t want to tell her because I didn’t think she’d want to know.’ Sir Paul, 56, has told of the poignant last days of Linda’s life in a deeply moving interview about their love. It is the first time he has spoken about his wife’s courageous battle against breast cancer since her death in April 1998. He has sought professional counselling in an attempt to come to terms with his devastating loss. ‘I got a counsellor because I knew that I would need some help,’ he says. ‘He was great, particularly in helping me get rid of my guilt. Whenever anyone you care about dies, you wish you’d been perfect all the time you were with them. I wasn’t; That made me feel very guilty after Linda died. The other day Sir Paul McCartney absent-mindedly picked up the telephone to talk to his wife. He used to phone her all the time throughout their 30-year marriage; and then she died in April 1998. “It’s the little things that really get you. I think I’ll phone her, and then say oh Christ.” Paul is rarely far from tears these days. crying helps, he says - at least for a while. Linda McCartney, or Lin as Paul preferred, died in her husband’s arms following a courageous two-and-a-half year battle against breast cancer. Linda died shortly after 5 am on 17 April at the family ranch in Arizona. Paul did not sleep for the next three nights; a dreadful grief swamped each day. It still does. Paul and Linda had spent barely a night apart during this, one of pop’s most enduring partnerships. Paul saw little point. He truly adored Linda; she was his best friend, wife, lover and mother to four children, Heather, Mary, Stella and James. If I had the option to stay away the night or travel back, I’d travel back home. It wasn’t out of a sense of duty,” he says. “I just thought, what’s the point of spending the night in this hotel, in this cold bed, when she’s back there? “We just fancied each other. That was the whole root, the whole essence of our love. It wasn’t always idyllic. It was a marriage and we had rows. It was nearly always my insecurities that caused the rows between us which has left me with quite a bit of guilt. The guilt’s a real bugger. “Whenever anyone dies you do think, oh I wish I’d been an angel for the whole of my life. But I wasn’t, so I was getting into heavy guilt when she died. “Then I thought, hang on a minute. We were just human. That was the beautiful thing about our marriage. We weren’t king or queen someone or other. we were just a boyfriend and girlfriend having babies.” A few months after Linda’s death, Paul contacted friend Geoff Emerick, The Beatles’ recording engineer, who had also lost his wife to cancer. He asked Geoff to work with him on Linda’s album. They christened those shared days in the studio ‘the tears and laughter sessions.’ “We shed a lot of tears,” says Paul. “We’d be sitting there listening to a poignant ballad and crying, then the next song would be an outrageous tongue-in-cheek track and so we’d be laughing. The best thing for getting it all out of your system is tears. Even though I’m from a generation that used to hold them in - and in Liverpool when my mum died we did a lot of holding the tears in - I am no longer remotely like that. I just let it out. People I speak to say it’s supposed to be the best thing. I can’t help myself anyway, because Lin and I were just so tight.” I also came across some videos on the internet where he did a song in tribute to Linda and also a song in tribute to John Lennon and George Harrison . and he ended up crying singing the song. It was sooo sad. Anyway, I can relate to his comments because sometimes I feel guilty about silly disagreements I had with Mike even tho they were ones where we made up 5 or 10 mins later. And I can also relate to him talking about breaking down crying in front of others. Last Oct I went with Mikes cousin and her hubby and friend to that reunion in the hillbilly area of KY Mike is from that Mike and I went to every yr. We ate several nites at a restuarant Mike and I would eat at up there. One of the nites I got out my credit card to pay the waitress and when I got my card back, I put it in my wallet. When I did that I saw a pic I had of Mike in my waller and that's when it hit me full force. I immediately broke down sobbing right in the restaurant. I had to reach in my purse and get a hanky. I was so embarrassed but couldn't help it. Mikes cousin had to explain to the waitress what was up & she was so sorry. And I'm mumbling thanks with my head ducked down cuz I didn't want anyone to see me crying like that. She and her friend were saying it's okay it's all right we understand and trying to comfort me and pat me on the back. His cousin friend had lost her hubby to cancer over the summer, I think it was and she was telling me she understood and knew what I was going thru. I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom to get myself together. Also Paul talks about how he didn't sleep for 3 nites. I can relate to that cuz when Mike passed, I didn't sleep for either 24 or 48 hrs. Couldn't sleep. Anyway I could relate to alot of what he said so I was glad to find all that online. I had another dream where Mike was alive for a yr and not dead. He had his heart attack but was in the hospital for a yr cuz they couldn't find out how to contact me. All he had on was the clothes he was wearing. I had to tell him I was sorry I had to get rid of alof of out stuff and his Elvis stuff. he said , you got rid of my Elvis stuff. I told him I would have to take him and buy him more clothes to wear. Fortuntely, I've had some good dreams where Mike is alive and we go places and do thing like eat out, shop and travel. But I hate waking up from them cuz it means he is dead again. Enough of my rambling on with what been going on with me. Hope things are going better for everyone. I am here for ya'll. We are hanging in there together. It's not easy but one day at a time I guess... For days I was not able to post. I tried 3 different browsers and it would not post. Hope this post and my last one goes thru. I feel like I can relate to Paul McCartney of the Beatles and his sadness at the passing of his late first wife Linda. It reminds me of Mike and I. I read where Paul and Linda only spent a few nites apart from each other in all their yrs of marriage . Mike and I never spent a nite apart in 23 yrs of marriage. I found on the internet some quotes of Paul that touched me and I could relate with. So I thought I’d share them here. THis is only the relevant quotes and not the whole article.

“For about a year, I found myself crying—in all situations, anyone I met. Anyone who came over, the minute we talked about Linda, I’d say, ‘I’m sorry about this. I’ve got to cry.’ ”

” MCCARTNEY: And so, sorry. What was your question? I was fooling around here.

Larry King : Linda. Dealing with loss.

MCCARTNEY: How do you deal with loss?

KING: I mean, this was a someone you were with for how many years? 30 years?

MCCARTNEY: I cried — I — 30 years. I cried a lot.

KING: You knew it was coming.

MCCARTNEY: Yeah, yeah. We knew it was coming, but you — we tried to pretend we didn’t know it was coming. The last couple of weeks, I knew it was coming. I don’t know. It’s just impossible to talk about it.

KING: I don’t want to dwell on it. Do you get angry?

MCCARTNEY: No. No, not really angry. No. I cried a lot. That was the truth of the matter. I just thought — some friends of mine, particularly some of the doctors who were kind of advising, said: “Throw yourself into work. Get busy. Do stuff, do stuff.” And I just couldn’t. So I just thought, “That doesn’t sound right to me.” So I didn’t do anything. I just let it all happen.

So sometimes I’d be sitting around people and just burst out crying. And instead of doing the manly thing and saying, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t do it.” I would just go, “Oohhh,” and just cried a lot.

KING: In a business where women are at your fingertips, I mean, rock stars — and who’s bigger than the Beatles? — how did your relationship last so long?

MCCARTNEY: We loved each other. Quite simple. I think what the other thing was we’d both sown our wild oats before we got together. So I’d known a lot of girls, she’d known a lot of guys, and I think we were kind of fed up with playing the field by the time we got together. And we loved each other. So we were able to say: “You know what? Let’s knock that stuff on the head and let’s get it on.”"

McCartney ‘cries over Beatles songs’
Sir Paul McCartney has revealed that he often gets emotional when he performs songs that remind him of The Beatles and his late wife Linda.

The singer, who kicks off his European tour in Germany on December 2, admitted that he isn’t worried about shedding a tear on stage when he thinks about his former bandmates.

“You are in contact with them again through the songs. In a way I’m revisiting them. It’s sad and emotional,” he said.

“I couldn’t have done it when I was 18 years old because I would not have allowed myself to cry or go anywhere near that stuff. But now it’s OK. I’m used to it.”

More quotes from another article:

She was his best friend, his wife, his lover, in 30 years of marriage, Paul McCartney barely spent a night away from Linda. Now in a heart-searching interview with Rebecca Hardy of The Daily Mail, Sir Paul tells the full story of their inspirational romance and Linda’s courageous battle against breast cancer.

The former Beatle says he kept the terrible knowledge from the woman he refers to as “my girlfriend, lover and wife”, believing she would prefer not to know. ‘I knew a week or so before she died,’ he says. ‘I was the only one who knew. One of the doctors said she ought to be told but I didn’t want to tell her because I didn’t think she’d want to know.’
Sir Paul, 56, has told of the poignant last days of Linda’s life in a deeply moving interview about their love. It is the first time he has spoken about his wife’s courageous battle against breast cancer since her death in April 1998.
He has sought professional counselling in an attempt to come to terms with his devastating loss. ‘I got a counsellor because I knew that I would need some help,’ he says. ‘He was great, particularly in helping me get rid of my guilt. Whenever anyone you care about dies, you wish you’d been perfect all the time you were with them. I wasn’t; That made me feel very guilty after Linda died.

The other day Sir Paul McCartney absent-mindedly picked up the telephone to talk to his wife. He used to phone her all the time throughout their 30-year marriage; and then she died in April 1998.
“It’s the little things that really get you. I think I’ll phone her, and then say oh Christ.”
Paul is rarely far from tears these days. crying helps, he says – at least for a while.
Linda McCartney, or Lin as Paul preferred, died in her husband’s arms following a courageous two-and-a-half year battle against breast cancer.

Linda died shortly after 5 am on 17 April
at the family ranch in Arizona.
Paul did not sleep for the next three nights; a dreadful grief swamped each day. It still does.
Paul and Linda had spent barely a night apart during this, one of pop’s most enduring partnerships. Paul saw little point. He truly adored Linda; she was his best friend, wife, lover and mother to four children, Heather, Mary, Stella and James.
If I had the option to stay away the night
or travel back, I’d travel back home.
It wasn’t out of a sense of duty,”
he says. “I just thought, what’s the point of spending the night in this hotel, in this cold bed, when she’s back there? “We just fancied each other. That was the whole root, the whole essence of our love. It wasn’t always idyllic. It was a marriage and we had rows. It was nearly always my insecurities that caused the rows between us which has left me with quite a bit of guilt. The guilt’s a real bugger.
“Whenever anyone dies you do think, oh I wish I’d been an angel for the whole of my life. But I wasn’t, so I was getting into heavy guilt when she died. “Then I thought, hang on a minute.
We were just human. That was the beautiful thing about our marriage. We weren’t king or queen someone or other. we were just a boyfriend and girlfriend having babies.”
A few months after Linda’s death,
Paul contacted friend Geoff Emerick, The Beatles’ recording engineer, who had also lost his wife to cancer. He asked Geoff to work with him on Linda’s album. They christened those shared days in the studio ‘the tears and laughter sessions.’
“We shed a lot of tears,” says
Paul. “We’d be sitting there listening to a poignant ballad and crying, then the next song would be an outrageous tongue-in-cheek track and so we’d be laughing. The best thing for getting it all out of your system is tears. Even though I’m from a generation that used to hold them in – and in Liverpool when my mum died we did a lot of holding the tears in – I am no longer remotely like that. I just let it out. People I speak to say it’s supposed to be the best thing. I can’t help myself anyway, because Lin and I were just so tight.”

I also came across some videos on the internet where he did a song in tribute to Linda and also a song in tribute to John Lennon and George Harrison . and he ended up crying singing the song. It was sooo sad.

Anyway, I can relate to his comments because sometimes I feel guilty about silly disagreements I had with Mike even tho they were ones where we made up 5 or 10 mins later. And I can also relate to him talking about breaking down crying in front of others. Last Oct I went with Mikes cousin and her hubby and friend to that reunion in the hillbilly area of KY Mike is from that Mike and I went to every yr. We ate several nites at a restuarant Mike and I would eat at up there. One of the nites I got out my credit card to pay the waitress and when I got my card back, I put it in my wallet. When I did that I saw a pic I had of Mike in my waller and that’s when it hit me full force. I immediately broke down sobbing right in the restaurant. I had to reach in my purse and get a hanky. I was so embarrassed but couldn’t help it. Mikes cousin had to explain to the waitress what was up & she was so sorry. And I’m mumbling thanks with my head ducked down cuz I didn’t want anyone to see me crying like that. She and her friend were saying it’s okay it’s all right we understand and trying to comfort me and pat me on the back. His cousin friend had lost her hubby to cancer over the summer, I think it was and she was telling me she understood and knew what I was going thru. I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom to get myself together.

Also Paul talks about how he didn’t sleep for 3 nites. I can relate to that cuz when Mike passed, I didn’t sleep for either 24 or 48 hrs. Couldn’t sleep.

Anyway I could relate to alot of what he said so I was glad to find all that online. I had another dream where Mike was alive for a yr and not dead. He had his heart attack but was in the hospital for a yr cuz they couldn’t find out how to contact me. All he had on was the clothes he was wearing. I had to tell him I was sorry I had to get rid of alof of out stuff and his Elvis stuff. he said , you got rid of my Elvis stuff. I told him I would have to take him and buy him more clothes to wear. Fortuntely, I’ve had some good dreams where Mike is alive and we go places and do thing like eat out, shop and travel. But I hate waking up from them cuz it means he is dead again.

Enough of my rambling on with what been going on with me. Hope things are going better for everyone. I am here for ya’ll. We are hanging in there together. It’s not easy but one day at a time I guess…

]]> By: Cheryl Harrell http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/comment-page-11/#comment-47168 Cheryl Harrell Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:07:20 +0000 http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/#comment-47168 Welcome to the new folks. So sorry to hear about your hubbies. Wed was the first anniversary of Mikes passing. It snowed a bit early that am or the nite before. I know why. It was cuz he had passed right after a snowstorm and snow was still on the ground. I think he wants me to remember & I do. When eating dinner with my folks, I broke down. I didn't mean to as I don't want to worry them but, I hurt so about Mike. The nite before the anniversary of his passing, I lay in bed crying my heart out. I did up a new video of Mike in memory of him & put it up on Youtube. It's on my channel here: http://www.youtube.com/user/cherylharrell1961?feature=mhw4 if you are interested along with other videos I have done up. I went thru a few hankys doing the video. I still hurt so bad and will never get over him. Fri nite I went to the bluegrass jams I go to & play in every month. Even tho I had fun, I still felt so empty. It is like all the people around me are in the background barely existing or they are wallpaper on the floor. I feel so alone even in a crowd of people. I want him back so bad. But even a yr later I am still just as bad off as I was when he passed. I don't think I'll ever get over him. The preacher from church and his wife came over on the anniversary of his death. I think they came cuz it was the anniversary of his passing and also to check on my folks as my mom had knee surgery around Thanksgiving. They are so sweet together. Seeing other couple so sweet makes me miss Mike so bad. I can relate to what ya'll are saying. I too hate it that criminals are living and yet my Mike is gone. I don't blame God for his passing. I believe that God took him cuz he would've gotten worse off with his diabetes if he had live & also had heart trouble and he know how bad Mike wanted to go to heaven instead of suffering here. I think Satan is using it to hurt me. But I know God is there for me. A yr later and no better. Prayers just said for you all and all my love and care just sent your way. Welcome to the new folks. So sorry to hear about your hubbies. Wed
was the first anniversary of Mikes passing. It snowed a bit early
that am or the nite before. I know why. It was cuz he had passed
right after a snowstorm and snow was still on the ground. I think he
wants me to remember & I do. When eating dinner with my folks, I
broke down. I didn’t mean to as I don’t want to worry them but, I
hurt so about Mike. The nite before the anniversary of his passing, I
lay in bed crying my heart out. I did up a new video of Mike in
memory of him & put it up on Youtube. It’s on my channel here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/cherylharrell1961?feature=mhw4

if you are interested along with other videos I have done up. I went
thru a few hankys doing the video. I still hurt so bad and will never
get over him. Fri nite I went to the bluegrass jams I go to & play in
every month. Even tho I had fun, I still felt so empty. It is like
all the people around me are in the background barely existing or
they are wallpaper on the floor. I feel so alone even in a crowd of
people. I want him back so bad. But even a yr later I am still just
as bad off as I was when he passed. I don’t think I’ll ever get over
him.

The preacher from church and his wife came over on the anniversary of
his death. I think they came cuz it was the anniversary of his
passing and also to check on my folks as my mom had knee surgery
around Thanksgiving. They are so sweet together. Seeing other couple
so sweet makes me miss Mike so bad.

I can relate to what ya’ll are saying. I too hate it that criminals
are living and yet my Mike is gone. I don’t blame God for his
passing. I believe that God took him cuz he would’ve gotten worse off
with his diabetes if he had live & also had heart trouble and he know
how bad Mike wanted to go to heaven instead of suffering here. I
think Satan is using it to hurt me. But I know God is there for me. A
yr later and no better.

Prayers just said for you all and all my love and care just sent
your way.

]]> By: Norma http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/comment-page-11/#comment-47160 Norma Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:22:24 +0000 http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/#comment-47160 Lori, what wonderful words, I don't need to say anything. Strength in numbers Ladies. I love you all. Normaxxx Lori, what wonderful words, I don’t need to say anything.

Strength in numbers Ladies. I love you all.

Normaxxx

]]> By: Corinne http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/comment-page-11/#comment-47154 Corinne Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:26:35 +0000 http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/#comment-47154 Dear Ones - You know I write many articles on this blog other than this one. I think all of our problem is that we think we are going to be "normal" again. We have changed permanently. Wonder if you ever read this article I wrote. http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/you-will-never-get-over-it-loss-of-a-love/ Try just double clicking on it to see if it comes up OR - You may have to copy the address and paste it into your search browser. Please read it if you can or ask someone who knows how to do that to help you. Sending love to all of my treasured friends here. Dear Ones -

You know I write many articles on this blog other than this one.

I think all of our problem is that we think we are going to be “normal” again.

We have changed permanently.

Wonder if you ever read this article I wrote.

http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/you-will-never-get-over-it-loss-of-a-love/

Try just double clicking on it to see if it comes up

OR -

You may have to copy the address and paste it into your search browser.

Please read it if you can or ask someone who knows how to do that to help you.

Sending love to all of my treasured friends here.

]]> By: Denise http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/comment-page-11/#comment-47153 Denise Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:32:05 +0000 http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/#comment-47153 Zulaifa Thanks for writing to us we are here for you. It is OK to be ANGRY with God. I often get angry too, especially when my 9 year old cries for her Father I have to ask why? I still have my father (so she has her Grandpa) but we have to be strong for our children. It is so much for God to ask of us when we are so weak ourselves. We really have no choice but to accept that our husbands are gone. Having said that we can either try to find the strength to go on or remain is the past and refuse to accept what has happened. Remaining in the past can be very hard on your health, weaken what strength you have left and cause serious emotional and physical problems. It has been exactly 7 months since my husband suddenly and unexpectedly left this earth. I weep and cry daily because I just miss him so much, as does our daughter. I am now assuming the role of Mother and Father and it is not an easy task. I have to remind myself it was not by Stevens choice. He wanted to live and he had no idea that his life on Earth would end without warning- he was not prepared...we were not prepared. I work on daily trying to let go of the anger because that stress will cause you to deteriorate. It may sound cliche but we need to find Peace on Earth, and remember our earthly existence is so short compared to the eternal life we have waiting for us. We do not understand Gods plan, but one day it will be revealed to us so please do not lose Faith and Hope. Some never have loved, and it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. The deeper the love, the more painful and the longer the healing. Be patient and kind to yourself and never give up. I am going through some tests and hoping I do not have cancer. A part of me says it is OK if I do have cancer because then I will get to see my Steven sooner than if I was healthy. I then snap out of it and say I can't leave behind our young child to fend for herself I MUST live. I want to live, but often that is not realized until you are faced with the possibility of not living. So just for today be glad that you woke up, that you have more time to spend with your children/family, to be glad that you have a little more time on this earth to prepare for what we will all face- our transition from earth to everlasting life to join those who have passed before us. The stop on earth is a very short one, and despite our pain we need to make the most of it. We know your pain, your profound struggle can be walked on the path with us. Stay on that path with us and we will give you strength. Lori That is so sad about the suicide. I am on the Board of Youth at our church and teens face such a struggle in this life. They are so vulnerable and I just feel bad that perhaps no one recognized the signs of depression in this young girl. We just went through a study where a movie was shown it was called "To Save a Life " dealing with the same problem of teen suicide. I will pray for her, her family and all that have been effected to the immense pain that is associated with suicide. I don't care what people say she will be in heaven. For God knows she was suffering mentally or she would not have taken her own life at such a young age. God created her and God will take her in his arms again for he wants all of his creations to be saved. Gods Love is inescapable. He knows our every feeling, our every sin, and he sent his son to pay for our sins so that we may all have eternal life. Can I prove this to the weak in Faith- No, but I can tell you the Holy Spirit is guiding my life, my faith and it is not something you choses, it is a feeling that radiates from within down to the core of your soul. I am not saying it is OK to committ suicide- IT IS NOT, but being mentally ill is an illness just like cancer. God does not forgive only the little sins, he forgives ALL sins, his grace does not comprimise. So for today let us continue to stay on the path to finding PEACE on earth and make the most of our short time here. God Bless Zulaifa
Thanks for writing to us we are here for you. It is OK to be ANGRY with God. I often get angry too, especially when my 9 year old cries for her Father I have to ask why? I still have my father (so she has her Grandpa) but we have to be strong for our children. It is so much for God to ask of us when we are so weak ourselves. We really have no choice but to accept that our husbands are gone. Having said that we can either try to find the strength to go on or remain is the past and refuse to accept what has happened. Remaining in the past can be very hard on your health, weaken what strength you have left and cause serious emotional and physical problems. It has been exactly 7 months since my husband suddenly and unexpectedly left this earth. I weep and cry daily because I just miss him so much, as does our daughter. I am now assuming the role of Mother and Father and it is not an easy task. I have to remind myself it was not by Stevens choice. He wanted to live and he had no idea that his life on Earth would end without warning- he was not prepared…we were not prepared.
I work on daily trying to let go of the anger because that stress will cause you to deteriorate. It may sound cliche but we need to find Peace on Earth, and remember our earthly existence is so short compared to the eternal life we have waiting for us. We do not understand Gods plan, but one day it will be revealed to us so please do not lose Faith and Hope. Some never have loved, and it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. The deeper the love, the more painful and the longer the healing. Be patient and kind to yourself and never give up. I am going through some tests and hoping I do not have cancer. A part of me says it is OK if I do have cancer because then I will get to see my Steven sooner than if I was healthy. I then snap out of it and say I can’t leave behind our young child to fend for herself I MUST live. I want to live, but often that is not realized until you are faced with the possibility of not living.
So just for today be glad that you woke up, that you have more time to spend with your children/family, to be glad that you have a little more time on this earth to prepare for what we will all face- our transition from earth to everlasting life to join those who have passed before us. The stop on earth is a very short one, and despite our pain we need to make the most of it. We know your pain, your profound struggle can be walked on the path with us. Stay on that path with us and we will give you strength.

Lori
That is so sad about the suicide. I am on the Board of Youth at our church and teens face such a struggle in this life. They are so vulnerable and I just feel bad that perhaps no one recognized the signs of depression in this young girl. We just went through a study where a movie was shown it was called “To Save a Life ” dealing with the same problem of teen suicide. I will pray for her, her family and all that have been effected to the immense pain that is associated with suicide. I don’t care what people say she will be in heaven. For God knows she was suffering mentally or she would not have taken her own life at such a young age. God created her and God will take her in his arms again for he wants all of his creations to be saved. Gods Love is inescapable. He knows our every feeling, our every sin, and he sent his son to pay for our sins so that we may all have eternal life. Can I prove this to the weak in Faith- No, but I can tell you the Holy Spirit is guiding my life, my faith and it is not something you choses, it is a feeling that radiates from within down to the core of your soul. I am not saying it is OK to committ suicide- IT IS NOT, but being mentally ill is an illness just like cancer. God does not forgive only the little sins, he forgives ALL sins, his grace does not comprimise.

So for today let us continue to stay on the path to finding PEACE on earth and make the most of our short time here. God Bless

]]> By: Teresa http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/comment-page-11/#comment-47152 Teresa Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:26:58 +0000 http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/#comment-47152 Dear Tina and all, The pain of grief is with so many here on this website. We remember what those first few months were like. It has been just over a year since I lost my husband to kidney cancer. Like you, I really did not think that he would die. This past year I have felt so empty yet slowly, very slowly, activities begin to fill some of the emptiness. Simple things, like getting new clothes or things for the house makes way for a future. Not everything is as it was when Bill was alive. So, I change and grow. I've met new people, done some things that would have surprised Bill, the world has progressed, events have happened. It is our calling to be here now. Hang in there. Your life will not be the same but it is YOUR life. Teresa Dear Tina and all,
The pain of grief is with so many here on this website. We remember what those first few months were like. It has been just over a year since I lost my husband to kidney cancer. Like you, I really did not think that he would die. This past year I have felt so empty yet slowly, very slowly, activities begin to fill some of the emptiness. Simple things, like getting new clothes or things for the house makes way for a future. Not everything is as it was when Bill was alive. So, I change and grow. I’ve met new people, done some things that would have surprised Bill, the world has progressed, events have happened. It is our calling to be here now. Hang in there. Your life will not be the same but it is YOUR life.
Teresa

]]> By: Zulaifa http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/comment-page-11/#comment-47151 Zulaifa Wed, 10 Mar 2010 05:16:22 +0000 http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/#comment-47151 I feel terrible the last few days. I am so angry with god for keeping me here and taking my husband away. I do not have a shoulder to cry. I terribly need a hug and wish someone would say everything is alright. I just can't take life anymore. Even the autopilot mode doesn't seem to work. I wish I can go to my husband, bring him back. I want him to hold me and say everything is gonna be ok. I know I am been childish. I can't even handle my splitting headache. I am so scared I will fail my kids. I love them the only reason why I exist now. I am sorry, I just want to put out what I am feeling. I feel so so lonely. I don't have anyone else to cry and tell. Can't upset any family members because they are anyway upset, I show everyone a brave face. But one of these days they are going to find out how weak I am. Love and Peace Zulaifa I feel terrible the last few days. I am so angry with god for keeping me here and taking my husband away. I do not have a shoulder to cry. I terribly need a hug and wish someone would say everything is alright. I just can’t take life anymore. Even the autopilot mode doesn’t seem to work. I wish I can go to my husband, bring him back. I want him to hold me and say everything is gonna be ok. I know I am been childish. I can’t even handle my splitting headache. I am so scared I will fail my kids. I love them the only reason why I exist now. I am sorry, I just want to put out what I am feeling. I feel so so lonely. I don’t have anyone else to cry and tell. Can’t upset any family members because they are anyway upset, I show everyone a brave face. But one of these days they are going to find out how weak I am.

Love and Peace

Zulaifa

]]> By: Mary Lotus Butterfly http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/comment-page-11/#comment-47146 Mary Lotus Butterfly Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:21:16 +0000 http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/#comment-47146 Hi Lori, If us, adults have so much stress...can you imagine how much stress that our kids have!!!! I heard my daughter speaking with a couple of her friends in my car oneday...speaking about the stress and maintaining the A's...the level of quitaria that we somehow impose on our children. My daughter is an A student...Class President...Cheerleader...Honor Roll.... She got herself into the wrong crowd...not being true to herself...peer images...I sent her away at the age of 15 to live with her father...because she stopped speaking with me, when I insisted and found out what was happening. I cried for two years... My daughter is in her thirties, now. She did not go to college...She works for herself as a clothing designer and a website builder. My daughter apologies to me at the age of 19. I kept on being there for her. I am so proud of my daughter. We as adults have to remember as to what is true...the real life and love. Mary Lotus Butterfly Hi Lori,

If us, adults have so much stress…can you imagine how much stress that our kids have!!!!

I heard my daughter speaking with a couple of her friends in my car oneday…speaking about the stress and maintaining the A’s…the level of quitaria that we somehow impose on our children. My daughter is an A student…Class President…Cheerleader…Honor Roll….

She got herself into the wrong crowd…not being true to herself…peer images…I sent her away at the age of 15 to live with her father…because she stopped speaking with me, when I insisted and found out what was happening. I cried for two years…

My daughter is in her thirties, now. She did not go to college…She works for herself as a clothing designer and a website builder. My daughter apologies to me at the age of 19. I kept on being there for her. I am so proud of my daughter.

We as adults have to remember as to what is true…the real life and love.

Mary Lotus Butterfly

]]>