Comments on: WHEN YOU CAN’T FORGIVE

By: Corinne

Corinne — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:56:23 +0000

Penny, I can really relate to this.

In a slightly different way.

My first husband (long gone now) would not take me anywhere to be seen with me when I was pregnant. He said I looked too ugly.

He made me feel so ashamed.

But then after we divorced, he seldom came to see them.

Shows you what kind of a person he was.

You are the one who had the gift of those beautiful children. Never forget that.

By: penny

penny — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:46:03 +0000

Thankyou for your advice, my problem was I never could forgive my husband for telling me when I fell pregnant with our children how much he did not want me to have either one of them. I used to feel so low whenever a friend told me how ecstatic their husbands were. I could never understand why I had been so unlucky in having a husband who did not want children by me. i was filled with a sense of self loathing. Thank you for liberating me and helping me see that it actually wasn’t to do with me at all. I was tortured until I read this.

By: nicole

nicole — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 03:57:18 +0000

this helped. so much.

By: Zoltan - Self-esteem building

Zoltan - Self-esteem building — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 23:09:05 +0000

Understanding and awareness are definitely the key point of forgiveness.
It takes time to forgive someone, sometimes a lifetime.
We all carry our burdens, but the sooner you realize that we are all human beings the sooner you learn the essence of forgiveness.
Great article.

By: DJ in Houston

DJ in Houston — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 21:15:02 +0000

Thanks Corinne…

By: Corinne

Corinne — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:58:37 +0000

Dear Franciso -

Thanks for stopping by!

Yes, forgiveness is tough. Sometimes it takes a lifetime.

You have a great wedding site if anyone here is getting married or has a big event!

By: DJinHouston

DJinHouston — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 14:18:14 +0000

This is a great article, especially since we all have at least one or two people in our lives that we just simply cannot forgive no matter what we try.

By: Travel Betty

Travel Betty — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 03:31:26 +0000

It took me until my thirties to truly understand how healthy and liberating forgiveness is. I think your point about “your not letting someone off the hook” is a good one because that’s the fear most people have.

They think if they forgive, they are somehow saying it was okay to have committed the action. Once a person is able to separate forgiveness from approval they are on their way to healing themselves!

I also loved your point about how you wouldn’t take it personally if a person from a mental institution screamed at you. I read that and thought, “of COURSE not!” It seems so clear when you put it in those terms. Great post!

By: Personal Growth with Corinne Edwards » ABOUT “WHEN YOU CAN’T FORGIVE” - A comment from Peg Barry

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 18:04:19 +0000

[...] http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-you-cant-forgive/ [...]

By: peg barry

peg barry — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 23:20:58 +0000

Exceptional advice. All my life I heard, “You must forgive” but NO ONE every explained just HOW .. I think they just didn’t know themselves.

Used to bug the hell out of me …Think about it– did anyone every give you the tools on just HOW to forgive. If they did, please share that info with the planet because outside of this brilliant information,nothing gets the job fully finished. Yeah, you can burn a candle and say “I forgive you” a million times but it doesn’t really work.

What do you do and how do you do it. Just HOW can you forgive?????. I know that without these tools, forgiveness can not be fully and totally accomplished. I’m sure of this because I tried so hard and for so long . It/they still hung on — The dictionary says forgiveness is “to grant pardon for an offense” Well, my friends. I used every little trick in the book and nothing ever completely worked until I did began to become aware and then the awareness became understanding.

First the light and then the dawn. For instance, you have a problem with your mother, she may even be dead for 20 years but “it” – the old pull to bad memory is still there. Imagine her as a 6 month old baby and image her mother and father, and her grandmother and grandfather and the village that they came from. Imagine their religious environment and its oftentime limiting constraints and that neighborhood and those relatives… maybe the poverty or abuse. Could she, based on her “stuff” do any better than she did at the time? Work (ahh, the real 4 letter word!!!) at becoming aware of her life — Aware of her plight. Step out you your Narissism and “see”. And remember, a person cannot give what they do not have. The comes the understanding and the final letting go.

Those souls reading this blog are so much more enlightened than people were even just 10 years ago. We have the blessing of knowledge that was just slightly coming in the 60’s … well, kids, it’s here now and full-blown and ready for anyone who wants to self-heal. I always say that today – “If you don’t get better – it’s because you don’t want to get better this lifetime”…. I wish I knew then what I know now — enough of that !!!! I am blessed to have this simple information at my fingertips now and guess what!!!! I’m using it– I am pardoning myself for my own offense of not taking better care of myself. I do so want to be aware and understand so that I can truly forgive and let go and not be pulled back into those haunting memories. I’m telling you it works if you have the self-love to go there!!! You can even use this on yourself. Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

Oh, just do it — you know you’re going to do it sometime anyway – make it THIS lifetime. And Corinne, I would love to see more blogs on this subject – the world is such a better place because you are sharing your lifetime experiences with us all. “Stay the course” as Thomas More once told me to do!!