WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

You’ve heard “what do you want to be when you grow up?” since you were three years old pulling your red wagon or playing with your dolls. That question branded an imprint on all of us. Almost a guilt trip. The need to decide.

It got worse in college. Now it was really serious. Pick a major. There’s money involved here. Student loans. Make a decision. The heat got turned up. But thinking back on it, isn’t it a little silly for an 18 year old to make such an important decision?

It was easier years ago. The days of what I refer to as the “gas company mentality” are over. People no longer work for the same company for 40 years, collect a gold watch, a retirement dinner and a pension. So we have to change too.

Many of you did choose a profession and you are working in it now. You didn’t know what else to do. It was a job based on your college major perhaps.

It may not be want you really want. But what we all tend to do is wait. Maybe it will get better. Maybe I’ll get an offer from a new company. Maybe I’ll get a raise or a great new client. I have a lot invested here. Time. Money. Loans. I have credit card debt. I have a mortgage. Kids. College costs looming.

In the meantime, the companies that we have declared allegiance to may not always be so loyal to us. You’ve heard the words. Downsizing. Outsourcing. Eliminating or combining a position. Fancy new words for being fired.

A Harvard MBA half your age comes in and changes the whole company. You have new quotas. You make your quota and they raise it. New standards. Zero tolerance. Conform. Produce. Learn that new software. Or you’re out.

And you are out at 50 years old. Not 30. A challenge to get a new job or switch fields.

I owned a travel agency for 20 years. I loved it. I was successful. But in the early 90’s I began seeing the handwriting on the wall. The airlines, who bragged about us as “partners” started turning against us. They started competing for our commercial business. Cutting commissions. And I saw another danger for the travel agent looming. Travel web pages on the emerging Internet.

I decided to sell. People couldn’t believe it. They asked why. I was selling was because I read a business book that said. “Never try to race a three legged horse.” I could see the travel business being that horse. I sold it to two ex-priests. One of them had inherited a lot of money. They really just wanted to have some fun. I wanted to eat. They just wanted the travel benefits. It was perfect for them. My agency may have been one of the last that was sold.

A few years later, they just started closing. The days of the neighborhood agency were mostly over.

Now – what to do? I didn’t have enough money to retire — and I didn’t want to.

Somebody called me one day and asked me to recommend a life coach. I told them I’d get back to them.

I didn’t know what a life coach was. I did some research. I found out there are no real educational or certificate licensing requirements. You are not dealing with mentally ill people. What a life coach does is act as a mirror and a paid friend to someone who really has the answers within them already. All of us get stuck once in a while. We are undecided. We procrastinate.

A life coach is a cheerleader. Not a therapist. It is dealing with the RIGHT NOW. Not the past. We don’t talk about whether you were in love with your galoshes when you were two. I decided I had learned enough from all my own personal and business mistakes to be a pretty good life coach.

I called back. I had my first client.

Then I put an ad in Craig’s List. It is free, at least in Chicago and most places. I advertised to do ghost writing, editing or resume writing. I got clients. Many people who are brilliant do not know how to put two words together!

But in the beginning, I needed more to do. I volunteered to teach a spiritual thought system – not a religion – called A Course in Miracles in Cook County Jail. I did that for over two years.

The men in my class at the jail were the most fearful criminals in the city. Murderers, big drug dealers, gang chiefs, burglars, I wouldn’t let them tell me why they were in jail. I couldn’t teach love and forgiveness if I knew. They were the smartest men I had ever met.

They taught me two words that are important to know. TRANSFERABLE SKILLS. Many of these men could run General Motors. It was just a matter of redirecting their knowledge and energy. I told them. As a big drug dealer you learned everything you need to run a business. Hiring. Credit. Management. Accounting. Distribution. Sales. Marketing. I told them when you get out, get yourself on a different track using the same skills.

Transferable skills means that what you learned working in McDonald’s in High School you are still using today in your business. That means that what you have learned in your present job you can use in another business.

While all this was going on, I took a class on how to produce a TV show at Chicago Access Corporation. Just for fun.

I found that running a travel agency and producing a TV show were very similar. It was putting the pieces together. In travel it was research, airfare, hotels, sightseeing, transfers – in a TV show it was cameras, crew, lights, research, content, editing. Pieces.

In most business it comes down to contacts. Recommendations. I rarely advertise as a life coach. People send their friends. Travels customers sent their friends. In the TV business, authors got the word out. Publicity is a small town. It gets around if you have a good show. I started getting the top authors. The ones you see on Oprah and Larry King. Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, Andrew Weil. All the best sellers.

Then the impossible happened. A major Satellite television company called Wisdom Television picked up my show. I mean, who hires a middle aged woman interviewer unless she is Barbara Walters? A fun hobby turned into a new career.

Then bango. After several years, they canceled all new production on Wisdom. The owner died and the heirs wanted to sell the channel. They sold it and my show was not picked up by the new owners although they still sometimes do reruns.

So I am famous. (if you get no residual money from the program, does that count?) People come up to me in Los Angeles on the street – in Detroit at the airport – in Schaumburg, IL. at Home Depot to tell me they like the show. But no money. At least for now.

I activated my real estate broker’s license from a former life and sold real estate in Chicago while things were good. Things are dead now so I am on hold there. Maybe later. It’s a three legged horse. But it is the same formula. Contacts. Pieces. Put deals together the same way as in the travel business or TV production.

But, I have my life coach practice. And I have TRANFERABLE SKILLS. This is an oversimplification, because everyone is different, but here are some of the basic things I have learned and what some of my clients need to hear in my Life Coach practice.

1. In business, be careful about giving credit. You are not a bank. Don’t do a lot of work without money up front.

2. Be willing to try something new. But go work for someone in the new field – even for nothing if you have to. Businesses fail for 2 reasons. Lack of capital or lack of experience. You may succeed with one of these lacking but not both. Make your mistakes on somebody else’s’ money.

3. Follow your gut. You have a hidden gift. What is it? You know more than you think. Follow the energy right in front of you. If it feels wrong, stop.

4. Don’t – don’t share your dreams with just anyone. They will shoot you down. Don’t ask a lawyer, real estate broker, stockbroker if they are in a good business. They will say, “It used to be good. Not any more. Don’t even think about it.” They don’t want the competition. Your own family will discourage you because they are afraid. Everyone wants you to cling to the devil you know.

5. There is power in Intention. Don’t shoot your own dreams down. Keep putting the thought out there and see yourself where you want to be. Don’t cancel the energy by seeing even the possibility of failure. Not unless you decide later that you really are racing a three legged horse. You may not be.

6. Don’t hand bullets to someone who is holding a gun on you. You know who I mean. The person who will use your confidences against you later.

7. Don’t get into a fight your can’t win. It wastes energy. .

8. Most of all. In business or personal life – love the people you are dealing with. Force yourself to love them. Visualize them in your mind with love. 99 % of communication is mental.

9. Stop selling. Start helping. Don’t count commissions if you are in sales until they are in your hand. It prevents you from doing the very best for your client.

I’ve been a life coach for 14 years now. So, am I suggesting that you should quit your job? No. I am saying you should consider an additional job or develop your hobby. As a back up. As protection.

A test is when you get the Sunday papers, which section do you read first? These are all clues. For example. You’ve always said that one day you would write a book. Do you know how many people have said that to me? When you have time.

I’m going to give you a short course in how to write a book. Write. Get a yellow pad and a manila folder. When you get a thought while you are stuck in traffic or at the dentist office, write it down. Don’t let the muse get away. Put it into the manila folder. Forget it. After a while, you have written a book. I have written three books just this way.

Maybe you have artistic ability. Make something. Paint something. Collect these things and get a booth at an art fair. When someone asks if you are an artist, say yes. If you’re good with figures, take a tax course. Do taxes for people. Maybe for a few dollars or even free. It could be a future business.

If you love kids, go back to school and get a teachers certificate. You can always teach. Even after you retire. We always need teachers and they have a lot of vacation time. You have a talent. You know what it is. A dream you have not yet followed.

Do it in a small way while you still have a job. Because you never know what will happen in this crazy economy.

And you don’t want to end up on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale talking about the good old days when you haven’t had the good days you deserve.

I don’t know what is in store for me. Right now my obsession is blogging! Life is an adventure ride and I am following the energy right in front of me. You just have to keep reinventing yourself.