Gabrielle is Italian. He was my sales rep for a large cruise line.   He was so excited that his brother, Mauro, who had been busy raising a large family in Sicily, was coming to visit.  He had not seen him in several years.

Mauro was thrilled to see the Magnificent Mile with all the beautiful stores in Chicago. As they were walking along, he took his brother’s hand.

Gabrielle stopped.  He said, “Mauro, you cannot hold my hand while we are walking.  That is not done in America.”

Mauro was confused.  “But, you’re my brother!”

Why can’t we touch each other anymore?

In a recent poll, it was estimated that 22% of urban women had a manicure every week.

Have we forgotten how to do our own nails?  I can remember when you had a manicure for a special occasion. That is still true for me.  Mainly, because I like to cook and there is nothing worse for a new manicure than scrubbing vegetables in the sink.

Or, could it be deeper than that?  Are we just hungry for someone touching us?

There is a wonderful article in New York Magazine by Emily Nussbaum about the huge proliferation of spa services in the past few years.  In her article, she quotes Arlie Russell Hochschild, a sociology professor and the author of The Commercialization of Intimate Life. 

In part she writes that treatments have gone from being “a luxury to a tentative necessity.”  She adds later, “I don’t want to go the route of moralizing this:  I think it is good to be touched, to relax, to be stress free.  But it does seem like a symptom that something’s amiss that people actually pay for this.”

I remember when I was a kid, I never got my skate key and skates out - you probably don’t remember that - to run to the store without kissing my mother goodbye.  Does that still happen today?

A friend told me he belonged to a weekly therapy group.  Their assignment for that week was to lightly touch people when they talked to them.  Not inappropriately.  Just maybe a tap on the arm as you were leaving.  Even people you did not know like the checker in a supermarket as you were leaving and saying, “No, I don’t need any help to my car.”

I decided to try it.  There was a very cranky accountant in my office.  One day, as I put some papers she needed on her desk, I briefly touched her on the shoulder.  At first, she froze.  Then, something strange happened.  I saw her relax and she said, “Thanks”  My friend told me that the members of his group had similar experiences.

With this in mind, I’ve been watching the politicians on television.  I’ve noticed that when many of them are shaking hands with a supporter, they take the other hand and touch their other arm.  Is someone teaching them how to communicate and connect with people better?  Can we learn from this?

The John G. Shedd Aquarium in Chicago is the world’s largest indoor aquarium.  One of their most popular attractions is to watch their baby whales.  They are always close to their mothers, touching them, nursing.  But baby Beluga whales also love the human touch. “A big part of training is building a relationship,” said mammals director, Ken Ramiriez.

With the divorce rate so high or people marrying late, many of us live alone now.  We don’t get much touching.  Sometimes, we live far away from close family.  We are so busy in our jobs that our social life is limited.

I am not suggesting that you take this idea and end up with a sexual harassment suit!

But a casual touch can be comforting – both to the touchee and the touchor.

Just imagine!  We can learn much from interaction with baby whales! 

And someday, Mauro may be able to hold his beloved brother’s hand when they are walking on Michigan Avenue.

For the full article I have mentioned here , I refer your to New York Magazine, 

http://personals.newyorkmetro.com/beauty/features/41280/