This is about single women who are also perhaps mothers, friends, credit card jugglers, car-poolers, entrepreneurs, lovers, workers, gardeners, even grandmothers.

In short—a person trying to be everything to everybody and still have a life.

I know there are some serenely, happily coupled women out there who do all the same things, and if you are one of them, I don’t want to exclude you.

And - male readers? Sure. Come along. It wouldn’t hurt for you to learn something about how women really think.

Speaking of males -

I was shocked to read my friend, Craig Harper’s article on the pressure that is put on MALES who are single. I thought it was just woman who had to put up with that nonsense!

Craig says -

“Women periodically feel sorry for me (while simultaneously trying to hook me up with their sister, cousin, neighbor or girlfriend), while blokes have been known to ask if I’d be interested in trading lives with them. According to some people, I must be miserable, lonely, unfulfilled and emotionally inept. Apparently I just think I’m happy; I’m just telling myself that to make ‘me’ feel better about being tragically single. And lonely. Poor delusional Craig.
Gotta say, my delusion is quite the place. You should visit.”

To which I say to my women friends, “Come on in! The water’s fine!

We talk self-sufficiency but are furtively casting about for that guy who will defend the entrance to our cave.

With all of our bravado, we are still whistling in the dark to keep ourselves safe. And no matter how successful we are, how many clothes we collect, how many pedicures we splurge on, how many trips we take, how “interesting” our jobs, we cringe when we hear the question, “Are you seeing anyone?”

The secret is that we feel deficient without a man. We are apologetic to our families for being single . . . We give reasons and excuses to our friends . . . (there’s NOBODY out there) and we put pieces of our life on hold until “he” comes along.

It is time for us to tear a page from Craig’s song book.

It is possible to be happy as a single person. Look at your life. You are probably already happy.

If the truth is known, most of our married friends envy the fact that we write our own script. We paint that room red and nobody has a heart attack because he hates it!

We can buy a pair of $300 jeans and no one complains. We know it comes at the price of economizing somewhere else. But if you need them, you need them, END OF STORY.

We can eat cornflakes for dinner if we feel like it. (Sorry, Craig!) Stay up all night and finish the book without anyone telling us to turn the light off.

The inspirational books we read send a thunderous message. Nothing and no one outside ourselves can save us. Not even a soul mate. Serenity and peace cannot be found except in our own hearts.

I believe that realization is our ultimate target. But many of us are not there yet. Glimpses—even epiphanies come and then seem to vanish on this roller coaster ride we signed up for. However, in between the hair pin turns and the high sky dives, it’s helpful to know where we are going.

If there is one message for us, it is this:

If there is a right person—a soul mate—I think he will show up for us at the perfect time, which is somehow not determined by us. We just have to follow our intuition and be alert to what is around the next bend on the roller coaster.

But don’t waste life waiting around for that person.

Neale Donald Walsch, in his beautiful book, Conversations with God, recounts that the most important question we can ask in any situation is “What would love do now?”

I have those words taped on my computer screen. That guidance holds up under most circumstances. Remember to include your own happiness and welfare when you answer that question.

My mother’s favorite expression was, “In the light of all Eternity, most things don’t matter.” She was probably right. I’d like to add something.

Even if that is true, go for the gold anyway! Every way you can. And everyday. Because we are beautiful, extraordinary people—with or without a partner.

And we have a unique contribution to make—to ourselves and to our world.

Here’s an assignment for all my single friends. There is a comment section below. What advantages have you found in being single??

Can’t wait to hear from you!