SABOTAGE AND HAPPINESS

In every life we have some trouble,
when you worry you make it double
don’t worry, be happy!
Bob Marley

It’s a nice summer day and you are walking along the street feeling contented with your life.  Things are going well. You feel happy.

What we do is ruin the moment with a thought like, “How can I be happy when there are so many who are hungry and with wars going on in the world?”  What about the Gulf oil leak?  The unemployment figures?

We sabotage our happiness by destroying it ourselves.

Unless you are on the Armed Services Committee or a person who is in a power position, there is really nothing you can do about the war or the oil leak, job losses, the environment in this exact moment.  You deserve this nice day and the feeling of contentment.  Allow it.

Of course you can help – by being active in a political party, by donating money to a cause, by voting with your heart – or joining a spiritual group which is dedicated to world peace.

But you can’t do it this instant as you are walking down the street and you have ruined your good day by canceling out your good feelings.  It is hurting you and not helping anyone else.  We are all connected at a Universal level and you are making things worse by not enjoying yourself.

You are sending more negative energy out into the world when we need all the posititivity we can get.  Good feelings and thoughts, it is said, are a form of prayer.

We deprive ourselves in even more simple ways.  For example, there are two ways for me to get to a friend’s home about five miles away.

One way, which is the quickest, is on a main, busy street.  The other is along Sheridan Road, a beautiful winding road along Lake Michigan.  There are lovely homes with beautiful gardens on either side of the road.   It is a peaceful drive in all seasons of the year but it takes about 15 minutes longer to go that way.

I was depriving myself of the pleasure of the ride for 15 minutes!  Even when I was not pressed for time.  Take Sheridan Road whenever you can because you are worth it.

There are so many little ways we do not care for ourselves.

We walk into a supermarket and they have a sale on flowers.  Two bunches for nine dollars.  We hesitate.  Those flowers on our table for a full week gives us pleasure.

Buy the damn flowers.  You would probably buy them for a friend.  Be your own friend.  You are worth nine dollars.

My friend Ruthie told me a story about her 90 year old mother.  She had given her a beautiful cashmere sweater but when she stopped in to see her on a cold day, she was wearing an old  sweater which had holes in the arms.  She was saving the cashmere sweater “for good.”

Ruthie found the new sweater and insisted that her mother put it on.  She said, “Mom, this is as good as it gets.  Wear the sweater.”

What are you saving for good?

At some level, we don’t feel we deserve nice things unless someone else can see it.  We are not good enough to enjoy what we have for our own pleasure.

Let’s talk about our pajamas and nightgowns.  We have several new ones in our dresser drawer we have received as gifts.  Why do we wear the old tattered ones?  Because we feel we are the only ones who see us at night?  Throw them out.  Or use them as cleaning cloths.   They are not even good enough to give to Good Will.

It is time for us to be kind to ourselves.  Not by going to Tiffany’s and buying a diamond ring.  In the small ways that add up to a little comfort and luxury in our otherwise hectic and busy lives.

The late Erma Bombeck wrote a poem that is much quoted and is often sent over the Internet.  She called it, If I Had My Life To Live Over. I never tire of reading it.  A few lines always jump out at me –

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

There would have been more “I love you’s.”  More “I’m sorry’s.”  But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute … look at it and really see it … live it … and never give it back.

When happiness comes – “Live it – and never give it back!”

Worry when you absolutely have to. But not too much.

Can you do that?

Picture by Don Iannone

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