Why is it
when I stare backwards
on the landscape of my life,
the only signposts still standing
are the losses?
Where are the moments?
Always waiting, waiting for things,
for children to start school,
mortgages to be paid,
for Christmas, summer,
marriages to begin,
to be over.
Or, rushing out of breath,
I have slammed so many doors,
missed friendships,
meeting obligations, making deadlines,
stretching to goals which meant nothing.
I can’t wait anymore
to hear the ocean while I sleep,
for the glass table which is too expensive,
a screened porch.
A man who adores me.
I want to run along a beach with no destination,
read all day in my nightgown,
throw away my eyeliner.
I want to fall madly in love with an unsuitable person.
Forever is not so long anymore.
I want to live,
so if I ever look back again,
I’ll remember the moments.
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Love it !!! especially about falling in love with an “unsuitable person”. There must be some cretin out there in a bar that I can find this weekend (smile).I know you well enough to know that you have not missed living life. How sad it would be to be old and to have not really lived – I’m sure that will not happen to me — and I know it hasn’t happend to you. I remember those sunshine filled days of my youth and really try to dwell on those moments rather than those “other” ones that try to take over at 3 am. I never laugh so hard as when I am with you. You are sunshine and joy and picnics and Christmas and Easter bunnies to so many of us!!! And I think, the wittiest person I have ever met!!!Dwell on that!!!! And in a few months – run on that beach that is just out your door!!!! I’ll run with you!!! It ain’t over yet ….we have a lot of laughing to do!!!!
It is a depressing poem by someone whom I suspect always views the glass of life as half empty,NOT half full. The great lesson I have learned is that the tone of one’s life depends on the tone of one’s ATTITUDE. Each of us has made our share of mistakes; each of us has endured a “downside” of life. Yet not each of us wares a frown. Some of us ware a smile. Why? What differentiates us? I believe it is that some of us have been blessed with a positive attitude and always look at life as being 100% full – not 50% empty.
I don’t see this poem as depressing at all. Reed, I think you’ve missed the point here. This poem so elequently reminds us that we should be living today and not waiting for tomorrow to enjoy those special moments in life. There is no better time to live than today. Thanks Corinne for reminding us!
Yes, Joni, you are absolutely right “we should be living for today and not waiting for tomorrow.” But, Joni, this poem suggests to me that the poet hss been waiting for tomorrow and “tomorrow” never came and only just realized that “hey, I’d better wake up and and start living today AND tomorrow. so my yesterdays will be bright with happy memories, not regrets for ’slamed doors.’” Oh, and why would she want to fall in love with an “UNSUITABLE” person?. Would that not make her “todays” and “tomorrows” MORE vulnerable to disappontment and further regret? Happiness comes from making the RIGTH choices NOT the wrong choices! “Unsuitable” suggests a WRONG choic.
Dear Reed and Joni and Grace -
I love it when my readers talk to each other. It is such fun.
Reed – I agree that we should all have that great attitude. Wish I hadn’t waited for all those things and missed a lot in my life. Don’t miss much anymore.
Confession time:
I bought the glass table.
I live on Lake Michigan and I now hear the waves while I sleep. And since there are three beaches on my street, I have no excuse not to run on one of them.
I met the unsuitable man and then decided he was just a little too unsuitable for me after all. But, it was a romantic idea!
I sometimes now read all day in my nightgown. When I don’t have a client or a blog to write.
Don’t wear eyeliner unless I am going out in the world. I do not need to impress the UPS man or my mail carrier.
I’m still waiting for the screened porch. They won’t let me put one on here at my town house. But, who knows. The thought is still out there.
Thanks to all of you for your fabulous comments!
A “Light” like you Corinne is not seen by “physical eyes” any longer – they just feel your Light (I believe that “god” is Love and Love is Light) and then walk away feeling better … dazzled so to speak….so there!!! Reed, you need to come back as a woman!!!
Perhaps I should have suspected that you were the poet, but how could I after Grace’s raves about you. Though I do not know you well, we have met and had serveral good conversations. Your are the epitome of vitality and your blogs reflect a thirst for life and its intellectual fruit. Never would I have attributed the poem to you.
Thank you, Corinne, for your “confession”. I’m glad you bought the glass table. You deserve it!
Just for the record -
All the poems on my blog are written by me. My first book, Low Pain Theshold, is all poetry.
Although it is out of print, if you are curious, you can buy it used on Amazon!
My other books all include poetry. I guess you could call it my first love in writing!
There will be more on my blog from time to time.
Now THAT I should have known, ’cause a while back I did read a book of your poetry. And had you not written the poem you would have given proper credit to the author, as you have in the past. My apologies, Corinne.
I agree with Reed, a bit depressing. I tried the ‘unsuitable’ thing – twice, and it didn’t work. But readers prefer reading about suffering than happiness, so carry on, Corinne — whatever works!
Thanks for this. You was help me. Article who your writen was so important for me. Thanks again
Yes, it was a beautiful poem, I enjoyed it.