LOST AT SEA – Single men needed!

They ring the dancefloor,

battalions of widows

in sequin dresses

the lady at Saks

guaranteed

would enflame any man’s passion.

They sit in formation,

heckling the magician,

after a dinner of 5000 calories,

where they listed their ships,

counted destinations,

and bragged of the bargain

on camel seats that day.

Four bachelors,

(a retired sock salesman,

a prostate operation recoveree,

and two elderly gays)

plus three exhausted cruise directors,

and a few resentful officers

are the prizes for the evening.

The score kept on the voyage

is not who wins at Bingo,

finds the most jade jewelry,

or is sleeping with the Captain,

but who gets the most dances.

A sea of sailing women,

armed with sequin dresses,

collecting foreign cities,

buying Turkish carpets,

spending the insurance,

when all they ever wanted

was a condo on the ocean,

and a trailer trip cross©country

with the man who paid the premiums.

I wrote this poem shortly after my husband died.  I had never noticed how many single women were on the many ships we had sailed.

Until I was one of them.

When I got back to my travel agency, I sent the poem to the president of a major shipline.  I knew most of the executives because I specialized in selling ships.  So, he listened.

I am going to take some credit for a new -phenomenon that is present on especially the longer and more expensive voyages.

The addition of “gentlemen hosts” who sailed almost free but were hired to dance and dance and dance and be “company” with the women who had paid a fortune for their vacations and sat night after night alone while romantic and beautiful music was being played in the ballrooms.

He jumped on the idea and a new category of entertainment was added.

If you are a single man of a “certain age” who is free to travel and meets certain requirements, this could be of interest to you.

Here are the general requirements:

The basic qualifications require that a Gentlemen Host^® have a very outgoing personality. He must be able to easily mix with a wide range of people, be a good-excellent dancer and have the energy/enthusiasm to be with people for long periods of time every day and evening while traveling in this position. We are seeking diplomatic and sincere volunteers. A volunteer is someone who can easily put the other’s needs ahead of their own and can take the lead in helping guests have a good time.

Are you…

• A single gentleman?
• 40 years of age or older?
• A good dancer?
• Physically fit?
• Fluent in English?
• A moderate or nondrinker?
• A good listener?
• A good conversationalist?
• Preferably a nonsmoker?

Can you…

• Socialize specifically with all single ladies over 50 years of age?
• Refrain from showing favoritism towards any special lady or group?
• Socialize with all guests? Be comfortable initiating conversations?
• Remain courteous to guests and staff at all times?
• Graciously host a dining table?
• Be comfortable with formal manners at gatherings and events as well as more casual situations?
• Maintain orderliness and sobriety at all times?
• Participate in games or activities and be visible in the daytime to chat and mix with guests?
• Perform other duties or assist with special events as requested by Cruise Director or Staff?
• See yourself as an Auxiliary Staff member and anticipate whatever needs doing?
• Assist with shore excursion tours when requested?
• Be actively involved during the daytime and evening?
• Be immaculately groomed and have an adequate cruise wardrobe, consisting of a black tuxedo, white dinner jacket, navy blazer, suits, sports jackets, and appropriate casual sports clothes?
• Afford air transportation from a distant port if your disembarkation by a cruise director becomes necessary due to your inappropriate conduct?
• Be current with passport, inoculations, travel & health insurance & visas when needed?
• Dance, dance, dance? “Dancing Every Dance is Primary”.
• Smile, smile, smile?

I have taken this information from a site which is affilated with all the major cruise lines and also CLIA, which is the association of cruise lines.

If you have the time – and the energy – it could be a wonderful way to see the world!  I recommended one of my clients and he had a ball!

Go here for more information. And let me know what happens!

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