I still haven’t seen Pumpkin.

And I have been a visitor at his home in California for three days. He has been under the bed since I arrived. My son and daughter in law say this is not unusual for him.

Gilmore, his brother, has made a few tentative appearances - one where he actually came up and gave my hand a sniff. But as soon as I tried to touch him - he was gone. Under the bed with Pumpkin.

I understand that this behavior is not unusual with Feral cats - those who have been adopted out of the wild. They have not been accustomed to humans from the time of their birth.

It made me wonder if this attitude was typical with some humans. Are some of us more wary than others? Are there Feral people?

Or is it possible that we push too hard to form relationships? Would it be better if we had a lighter touch when approaching a new client for business – or even someone new in our personal life?

There is so much emphasis in all the business books about “getting the order.” And yet, they follow this by the wisdom that people do business with those they like. People they know and have learned to trust.

It would seem that in order to be liked, we might want to let people have more of a “sniff” for a while to see if they wanted to know us better.

In personal relationships, do we tell all too soon? Again, all the advice in the dating books and the emphasis on being open – but who needs to know our whole life story the first time we meet? Could it be too much too soon? Do we need to reveal all our warts at once?

Could it put someone off to hear about your bitter divorce? I once met a man who spent a lot of time dating women from the Internet sites. He told me he started to restrict his criteria to meeting only widows – not divorcees. They had too many angry stories. He was interested in being with a cheerful and interesting person. Dirty laundry did not make for a pleasant evening.

Back to the kitties -

After a few days, Gilmore hung around me more. He did not sit on my lap but one day I was reading and I noticed he had come downstairs and was taking a nice nap in the sunshine about six feet away. Who knows? Maybe if I had been there a few more days, we may have started a nice relationship. I may have made the sale.

Pumpkin also surfaced once but he did not stay. He took a long look at me with his beautiful yellow eyes and when I looked back, he was upstairs again under the bed.

The Pumpkins of the world are tough. Maybe they require too much effort for the rewards they can grant us. Perhaps we should go for an easier sale. Someone who is not afraid of us. Someone with whom we can have an easier time in establishing a relationship.

I’ll try again next visit to California. It would be nice to get to know Pumpkin.

But I know one truth. Maybe in business or in personal or even more intimate relationships.

Let the cat come to you. They may like you and decide to stay.