Yeah, that’s me. I could not resist dragging out the pictures of my trip to China after watching the Olympics. It was my most unforgettable journey.

Especially, the Great Wall!

In 221 BC, the Emperor Qin ordered connecting the walls once built by the other states as well as adding some sections of his own. This was their main defense against foreign invaders.

Yes, 221 BC! The Emperor Qin knew the wisdom of saying “NO” that many years ago.

Over two thousand years later, why do we have so much guilt about saying NO?

Because of our personal history. We were brought up to be people pleasers. Be nice. Even if we are stretching beyond our capacity.

A friend told me that her main memory of her mother was saying, “Be the good one.”

This is not to say we don’t help when we are able. Especially for the people who need us – people with whom we are closely involved.

But most of us are already overloaded. We are struggling to pay our bills, working, have heavy family responsibilities with our families, taking care of everyday matters like shopping, laundry, preparing meals, doing as much volunteer work as we can in our communities – all the necessary elements of living a life.

Then, a person we barely know calls and asks us to take on a huge job. We don’t know how to turn them down. They are our “foreign invaders!”

So, we say yes – because we don’t know how to say NO.

Here is a secret. That person has a list in front of them. You are number four on that list. They have a dozen names left to call for the same job.

They will find someone else to do it. Someone who has more time –(or maybe another person who does not know how to say NO)

We are trying to squeeze out just a little time for ourselves. To read a book or take a walk or a bicycle ride. Necessary time that is already hard to come by.

Are we not entitled to just a little pleasure? To think or to relax?

Are we not important too?

We are trained to be all things to all people. We are not trained that we are people too.

Just say “No, perhaps another time.” The world will go spinning on without our help on that project. Nothing terrible will happen.

It only hurts for a minute. It could enhance the quality of our health for a lifetime.

It is time for us to save our time for things that are really important to us.

To build our own Great Wall.

Not in China. They already have one.

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