INTERNET DATING FOR WIDOWS AND NEWBIES – Official Driver’s Manual

by Corinne

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How do you start dating when you are now a widow?

I have an article on this site called When Your Husband Has died – a survival guide. It now has more than 3400 comments from widows helping, advising and supporting each other on it.  I call it my accidental widow forum.  I also think it is a miracle.  I had no idea there was such a need for it that was not being filled.  It has been going for almost three years.

I read all the comments but rarely answer  because it now belongs to them.

Most of the widows are in such a state of deep grief that every artery is open.  The thought of dating is foreign to them.  They are just trying to get through the day.

But I have noticed lately that some of the early ones who have been alone for a couple of years are tentatively asking about dating.  Asking for advice and they are scared to death.

I am writing this especially for them.  Please note, my dear ones, I am not suggesting you start dating if you are not interested or ready.  This is for the ones who have asked for information.

The rest of you can eavesdrop if you like.   If you are recently single, you might learn something here.

It is scary putting yourself out there.  What is no one answers?  You worry that you are not gorgeous and visualize yourself as not good enough that anyone would be interested in you.  Maybe it is better to just accept your fate and not take a chance of being rejected even if you are lonely and wanting some company with a nice man.

It could be an opportunity for you to do a little makeover on yourself.  You’ve been through a rough time.  Is it time to spruce up your wardrobe with a few pretty casual outfits?  Maybe a new hair style and a session with a make up artist at your local department store?  If nothing else, it could cheer you up. You have forgotten how attractive you are, inside and out.

Let’s look together at a few things.

You are not being unfaithful to your late husband.  You have told us what a wonderful person he was.  Would he resent your having a companion now that he is gone?  He would want you to have some happiness.  Get that out of the way

The people out there who might answer your ad are not all George Clooney.  Time has scribbled unkindly on many of the faces.  Some are overweight, bespeckled, have some health problems, and are not all rich guys looking for a Playboy bunny.   They are as scared and lonely as you are.

Let’s not jump into the deep end of the pool yet.

I’d like you to sit down first and list all your good points and likes and dislikes.  Do you have a good sense of humor?  Do you like music?  What kind?  Are you into politics?  Do you like to travel?  Where?  What are you longing to see in the world? Are you a good cook?  Do you like certain types of foods?  Do you consider yourself attractive?  Have a close friend help you with this.  It is sometimes hard to evaluate ourselves.

This could be a good exercise for you whether you are thinking of dating or not.  You have thought of yourself as a twosome for so long that you have forgotten you have an identity of your own.  Think now in terms of “I” or “me” – not we.  No rush.  Take your time.

Now, let’s describe the kind of man you might enjoy spending some time with.  What is important to you?  Not necessarily looks, although that could be an item.  If you are tall, you might want a tall man.  If you are religious, you might want someone of your own religion.  General characteristics.  Probably some of the ones your late husband had that you especially liked.  What about ethnicity?  Race?  Age?  Be honest.  No one is going to see this list but you.

You might want to state your preference for a widower.  Some divorced men are very bitter (and broke) and will bore you to tears telling you about their ex.

The reason I am suggesting these practice sessions is that you will have to answer two very important questions if you should decide to go ahead and start looking around at personal Internet sites.

The first is “Tell us about yourself.”

The second is “How would you describe the person you are seeking?”

Are you still with me?

The next question which will be asked is your age.  My experience is that everyone is lying – some a little.  Some a lot.  Most by about five years.

One of my friends summed it up this way.  “Since everyone is lying about five years, if you tell the truth they will add five years.”

People search on the sites in segments.  Like 30 to 40, 40 to 50, 50 to 60 etc.  So if you are 41, make yourself 39 so you fit in the lower category. You can fess up later.

You will need a picture.  No one will answer if you don’t post it.  Make it a fairly recent one.  One where you look friendly.  It does not have to be a glamour shot.

I can feel you backing up.  Now other people will know, right?

No.  No one is going to pay $30.00 a month for a minimum of three months to snoop on you.  The people on these sites are looking or they would not be there.

Which brings up another point.

DON’T TELL ANYONE EXCEPT MAYBE YOUR BEST FRIEND YOU ARE DOING THIS. Everyone else will have something to say about it.  This is your experiment.

(You can share on the widow’s forum If you like.  You are only listed with your first name.  No email is ever shown– no location. The other widows are from all over the world.  You are anonymous)

Now to choose which site to join.  Match.com is the biggest – all ages.  Or J-Date if you are Jewish.  My impression that E-Harmony is good if you are in your 30’s.  Otherwise, pick a big site.  You will have more selection.

The next question that comes up is “How do I check these people out?”  Hard to do at first but there are safety measures you can take.

Don’t give out your telephone number.  Ask for the man’s number.  You do the calling and ask your telephone company how to block your number so it does not show up on caller ID.  Have several conversations before you decide to meet.

Arrange to meet in a public place like a library or a coffee shop.

Drive your own car.  When you leave, check to see if you are being followed.  If so, head to the police station or flag down a cop.

Don’t tie yourself up time wise by arranging to have dinner.  Or, maybe even lunch.  You might decide right away this person is not for you and then you are stuck for possibly hours.  Meeting for the first time should be short, like a cup of coffee.  You will know.

Keep up these precautions until you feel comfortable that he is just a nice man looking for companionship like you.  Any decent guy will understand.

Tell your best friend where you are going and when and the man’s telephone number.

Don’t give out much personal information.  You ask the questions.  Most people love to talk about themselves so they will be happy to have the opportunity.

There are a few ways you can check on someone.  If he has a business card, call the number and ask the operator his exact title because your boss wants to write to him and you want it get it right.

If he is never available on a weekend, he either married or has a steady girlfriend.  Skip that one.

Stay away from the ones who say they are “separated.”  It’s usually a mess.  Tell them to get back to you when they are free if they appeal to you.

If he happens to have a land line, go to 411.com and look for reverse search.  Cell phones are harder to check.

And don’t forget running his name on Google.  Big Brother has information on all of us.  You might be surprised how much you can find out about everyone.

I am not telling you these things to scare you.  99% – the great majority of men are exactly who they say they are.

The only unpleasant experience I ever had was with a charming man who seemed unable to speak about his late wife, even after a second date..  I figured he was in too much grief.

When I pressed him, turned out he was married.  When I protested, he said, “But my wife will love you.”  I just left.  Please.  Threesomes are not my thing.

So, what do you think?  Are you ready to try it?  If not, that’s OK.

Now you have an Official Driver’s Manual.  Maybe next year.  Or, sometime.

Internet dating can be a lot of fun.  When you are ready.  Only you can decide.

If you have any questions, the comment section is below.

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{ 1 trackback }

thatgirlisfunny
July 13, 2010 at 12:24 pm

{ 49 comments… read them below or add one }

Beat Schindler
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 5:23 am

Very timely and wise drivers manual in the age of aging boomers, i.e. more and more drivers. As your introductory paragraph points out – “accidental”, “miracle” – there’s a big and growing need for this kind of thing. Even though I’m myself part of the boomer generation, I still find myself surprised by the waves we cause or generate. Fascinating, life, isn’t it?
.-= Beat Schindler´s last blog ..Beattitude – The Gorilla Test =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 10:28 am

Dear Beat -

I thought you were 22. Nice to have some company on the blogs.

There is a quote from A Course in Miracles that sums it up -

“A miracle is never lost. It may touch many people you have never even met, and produced undreamed of changes in situations of which you are not even aware. (T,6)”

You may be performing a miracle today with a simple action. It could be as small as a kind word to your postal carrier.

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Mitch July 14, 2010 at 6:22 am

Corrine, I can only hope that your post inspires people to carry on and have a happy life if that is what they would like to do and feel there is barrier preventing them from doing so.
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..PGA Tour 2010- The British Open Championship at St Andrews Free Picks and Preview =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 10:32 am

I hope so too, Mitch.

I hope it will help the guilt that I have read in comments on my accidental forum.

It is difficult and unnecessary to stay faithful to a person who is no longer here.

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Michelle Vandepas July 14, 2010 at 6:53 am

Corinne this is important information, and not just for widows. Any single woman needs to remember not to get ‘picked up’ on a first date, and to start with coffee. although it seems obvious to us, these tips if you already know them is still a always a great reminder.
.-= Michelle Vandepas´s last blog ..Self Publishing with Lulu =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 10:42 am

Michelle, I have been surprised by how many women do not know that.

“But he seemed so nice on the phone,” one woman told me.

She never was in any danger – just bored to death -
and no way to feign sudden illness and make an exit in her car.

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Michelle Vandepas July 14, 2010 at 10:45 am

It seems ‘being bored to death’ is a real danger! LOL
.-= Michelle Vandepas´s last blog ..Self Publishing with Lulu =-.

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Debbie from Happy Maker
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 8:16 am

Wonderful information Corinne. I will be honest here and let everyone know that I met my hubby through a dating service. Best thing I ever did. I was divorced and not really looking for another husband, but just someone to do things with.

He is the type of person that if it hadn’t been for the dating service and I met him, I proably would have over looked him. Lets say he really wasn’t my type.
I highly recomend dating service, but it is like Corinne says you do have to be safe.

I think the one big thing widows need to watch when it comes to meeting a man is if you have a large sum of money make sure they aren’t looking for a free ride. This door does swing both ways. Men have to be careful of this too.

That is my story and I’ll stick too it. lol
Debbie
p.s. Everyone deserves to find love, so ladies, gentlemen go for it. Happiness can be waiting for you around the corner.
.-= Debbie @ Happy Maker´s last blog ..How the secret to happiness can be in changing your habits =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 10:45 am

Dear Debbie -

You are right. There are some gold nuggets in those streams. People who are wonderful that do not meet the requirements on your “list.”

But you can’t sit home and wait for UPS to deliver that man on the white horse.

You were brave and lucky to get out there. You always speak so fondly of your partner.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 10:55 am

PS to Debbie -

About money -

If you have a chance, take a look at my original post “When Your Husband Has Died – A survival guide”

There’s a link to it in this post.

I cover that topic in depth.

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Debbie from Happy Maker
Twitter:
July 23, 2010 at 4:32 pm

Hi Corinne,

Sorry to be so slow in responding, but was out of town and couldn’t get on the internet with my labtop.

Anyway, yes I was very luck and am very lucky, even though he isn’t perfect. lol I read your other post “When your Husband Has Died.” I am so sorry for what you had to go through.

When it comes to tough time that is when we really find out what we are made of. Sounds to me like you are diffently a surviour.

I am very glad that you share your knowledge of life with us all. You are a blessing.
Debbie
.-= Debbie @ Happy Maker´s last blog ..a little compliment goes a long way to happiness =-.

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Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 11:16 am

What a topic! I remember my first foray into online dating. It brought up all sorts of fears. I took several risks with giving out phone numbers and having conversations and went out on dates and learned my way around. I met some real characters and some really nice men too. All you can do is jump in the pool. Standing and watching from the sidelines isn’t the same thing. You’ll know if you’re ready. No shame in waiting until you are ready.
.-= Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny´s last blog ..TGIF Links and 20 blogging tips from expert bloggers =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Dear Cheryl -

It’s hard to imagine your having fear. You are so out front all the time. I guess we all do and hide it.

I wrote this post primarily for my dear widows on their forum. Some of them married right after high school and have not had a “date” in thirty years. Or more. You can imagine that, even if they do not have fear, they don’t even know where to start.

But, you are right. There is no shame in waiting until you are ready.

At least they have some basic information now. Maybe they will use it. Maybe they will wait.

I posted it as a link on their forum. They had started asking some shy questions.

They are not commenting on this post here. But they are starting to on their forum. They seem to be open to reading it.

I am curious as to the feedback. As you said, “What a topic.”

Well, somebody had to do it.

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Being the Change I Wish to See
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 12:31 pm

Corinne,

Great advice!

It’s funny, but I’ve met my absolutely huge group of friends online. One woman wrote and asked if I wanted some friends who were divorced, single, mostly with kids of all ages, mostly lesbian, etc. She invited me to meet the group at a local coffee shop where they were going before a movie. She said just come out and meet some of us, and if you want to go to the movies, you’re welcome to come.

It was a great way to meet a bunch of new people in a safe environment with no pressure beyond showing up at a coffee shop.

She is my best friend and has been for years now, but we have no interest in dating each other. We would drive each other crazy and we know it. She’s had so many girlfriends in the past 5 years that I’ve lost count. I had one for a few months, but decided I enjoy being single most of the time.

Maybe one day I’ll meet the right person, but I’m not out to hunt for her or maybe him. I was married for 15 years, have been divorced for 11 years, and have a 15 year old son. I’m more comfortable with women, but if a fantastic guy walks into my life and can deal with my rather fluid sexual orientation, I wouldn’t turn him away based solely on his gender.

One thing I will advise for older boomers and pre-boomers is if you do decide to go home with someone or take someone home with you, use condoms. You may no longer be fertile, but HPV, HIV and HepB are contagious and spread through sexual contact. The fastest growing group currently contracting HIV is the over 55 crowd. When you were dating your husband, the likely thing you were worried about was getting pregnant and not being married. Now you have to worry about contracting a deadly disease. So use condoms until you both are 100% sure you’re disease-free and monogamous.

If you’re out looking for friends, straight women go on dating sites to meet friends, too. You don’t necessarily have to be looking for a mate.

Sherri
.-= Being the Change I Wish to See´s last blog ..Twisted bin Logic…Beware! =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Hi Sherri -

This is so important.

“One thing I will advise for older boomers and pre-boomers is if you do decide to go home with someone or take someone home with you, use condoms. You may no longer be fertile, but HPV, HIV and HepB are contagious and spread through sexual contact. The fastest growing group currently contracting HIV is the over 55 crowd.”

This is so prevalent with retirees in Florida. Those new Viagra Kings are taking advantage of the shortage of men available to women and are the main cause.

Huge rise in HIV and STD’s.

I had given some thought to bringing this up in my post but decided I had scared them enough already.

But they do have to come to this link to read the article and will probably also read the comments – so as usual -

You say things for everyone. Thanks!

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Lisa July 14, 2010 at 1:54 pm

Hi Corrine:

Great article! You never know who you might meet — prince or princess charming is out there somewhere.

I do appreciate your guide for playing it safe, and taking precautions — very important!

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 16, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Hi Lisa -

I feel that if it is meant to be, it will happen.

But you have to do SOMETHING.

What’s the worst that can happen? You might not meet the “one” but you certainly won’t meet anyone sitting at home looking at the TV.

And it can be an interesting experience in rejoining the human race.

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Joel
Twitter:
July 14, 2010 at 3:03 pm

This is a great article and one a couple of people close to me could benefit from. Whether they will listen or not is another matter :) For some it may be just too “scary”.
.-= Joel´s last blog ..Getting Yourself Into The Blogging Habit =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 16, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Hi Joel -

Well, if they would not resent your interfering, pass it on to them.

You may be doing them the biggest favor of their lives.

Sometimes, people just need a tiny push.

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Bruce July 15, 2010 at 3:58 am

I used an online service to meet women when I started dating at age 55. I was amazed at the desperation of some of them. They were willing to compromise their deepest beliefs professed in their bio when it came to getting a date. I usually met them for coffee to be polite but told them to hold out until a guy who really qualified came along. Most are scared they would never qualify as dating material again “at their age” as if guys my age were “all that”. I joined a local swing dance group and learned to dance – no small feat – and just met people who were active and doing something. One dance is even shorter than coffee and anyone could ask anyone else so gals weren’t waiting to dance. It is great fun and I met lots of great people.
.-= Bruce´s last blog ..UTERINE FIBROIDS-WHAT ARE THEY AND HOW CAN THEY AFFECT YOU =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 15, 2010 at 6:28 pm

Dear Bruce -

I’ve been thinking about answering you for two days.

Kinda shocked that your genteel southern ladies would be so aggressive.

“were willing to compromise their deepest beliefs professed in their bio when it came to getting a date.”

Ir speaks to the desperation that loneliness brings I guess. Makes me sad.

I saw it to some extent when I would visit my sister who spent the whole winter in Florida. She belonged to a singles club there. I would go with her with no particular interest because I was there for a week or two. Most were permanent residents. They were not interested in me except for a dance or two. (I am a good dancer)

The thing that most shocked me was you could be sitting at a table having a nice conversatation and a woman would burst in and ask the man to dance. I though it was rude – but maybe it was desperation.

I guess we have to do what we can to get by.

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Lance Nelson July 15, 2010 at 1:18 pm

thanks for the tips – i’m passing this on to my best friend who i just dont seem to be able to tell anything to… he makes no effort and i am sure your wise words will tip the balance for him. thank you again for taking th tiem to write this!
.-= Lance Nelson´s last blog ..Tsvetana Pironkova From Plovdiv- The Next Famous Bulgarian =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 15, 2010 at 6:31 pm

Dear Lance -

Well, pass it on.

Everyone has to be in the right place in their minds at the right time. It is not up to us to decide. Your friend may file it away for now.

All we can do it plant seeds. It’s up to others to water them

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Norma July 15, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Thank you Corinne, as ever I thank the night I found your site. I am one of your widows and yes it’s true, we have hijacked your site, and it does belong to us now. But all of us know, how important you are to us.

I’m ready to date, but……..need to find my courage to approach that man I’ve got my eye on.

Here’s to coffee and wish me luck.

Much love
Normaxxx

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 15, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Oh, my sweet Norma -

I have followed your journey for some time now – and also your loving support to the other widows on “your” site.

I feel as though I know you very well.

You are just the best.

Follow the energy right in front of you. It will lead you to whatever is best.

I am standing right behind you.

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singapore ec August 14, 2013 at 8:14 am

Many things are through internet nowadays, shopping, purchasing a house, etc

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Raymond Chua
Twitter:
July 15, 2010 at 3:47 pm

Hi Corrine,

This article may not suit me but I believe that it’s a handy information for many widows who are searching for the answers. Great article!
.-= Raymond Chua´s last blog ..The Power of Question =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 16, 2010 at 4:08 am

Well, Raymond -

Last time I heard, you were looking for a wonderful woman.

Did you find her?

You say that this post does not apply to you – but there must be personal sites in your part of the world.

Read this again and apply to yourself. Like evaluating yourself and deciding exactly what you are looking for.

Let us know.

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Raymond Chua
Twitter:
July 19, 2010 at 9:06 am

Hi Corrine,

You have a great memory. LOL

I’m still single presently and I believe that the universe has something in mind for me.
.-= Raymond Chua´s last blog ..The Power of Question =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 19, 2010 at 10:52 am

Of course I remember, Raymond.

You better not tell me any secrets from now on!

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June July 15, 2010 at 3:50 pm

Hi guys: I’m widowed and used internet dating with encouragement from my sister, Corinne. She helped me write my profile and post a picture. The safety advice is very important. I went through many dates – many of them for just coffee. She is right about not allowing too much time. I made that mistake and it was horrendous! My advice to keep in mind – you are just meeting someone new and it doesn’t mean a marriage proposal! Just have fun. It is quite an adventure. It is also fun to check your mail and see who responds. Corinne is right about the lying. They don’t give their true age and sometimes post a very old picture. but hey – it’s not rocket science. Have fun. Lighten up! Sending good luck to all you brave people out there. Love, June

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 15, 2010 at 6:41 pm

Hi Junie Bug -

You were a little resistant at first but ended up being a good sport and trying it out.

I think you met some nice people (and a few bores) and had some fun with it. It catapulted you from sitting at home to getting out in the world after a long and happy marriage.

I always enjoyed hearing about your newest adventure. Good or not so.

Now you have a new life – with or without a man. You are successful at being a happy person.

Sometimes it just takes a new view of the world to to start over.

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Mary Lotus Butterfly July 15, 2010 at 8:36 pm

Hi Corrine,

I have been using your other site. I just answered Norma, but I decided on checking out this site. Yes, it is very scary…how can one continue with living. I thought that I was damaged..older now but younger in other ways. I thought I was not beautiful anymore…that no one would understand…that I could not mention my Barry…that he was not allowed to exist even in spirit.

I had filled out a profile about a year ago on Spiritual Singles, when I was so mad at Barry for leaving me with those awful feelings. I did a lot of yelling at myself, Barry and God. Finally, something clicked together and I am at Peace with my grieving.

My Pastor’s wife gave me her blessings…saying that the time of grieving is up. It has been 2 1/2 years. Remember the movie “Dancing With the Wolves” with Kevin Costner?

Some one did find me all the way from Canada. I gave him the third degree on how he found me. I am just a needle in a hay stack. I told him that there must be beautiful spiritual women up in Canada. He told me that there was none like me. We have been emailing each other and speaking on the phone. I finally sent him a photo of me a month later. I wanted the right person to really know me, not for the way I look.

Well, enough for now. I am starting to feel like a woman living again with passions.

Love and Peace,
Mary Lotus Butterfly

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 16, 2010 at 3:55 am

Dear Mary Lotus Butterfly -

Someone wrote on the widows forum today that
“I can feel the breeze of your wings from here.” She was a new widow.

Your wings have encouraged hundreds of new widows. You were on from the very beginning and stayed ever since.

I consider you the mainstay of the whole site.

Your gentleman in Canada sounds lovely. Hope it works out.

I like the small spiritual sites but the problem is they are so spread out. People from all over.

That’s why I suggested a big site like match.com. You can specifically ask for a spiritual person there too.

Please continue coming back. You are so needed. You give the women hope that maybe they will adjust some day.

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David Rogers
Twitter:
July 15, 2010 at 10:53 pm

Its easy to forget the complexity of the dating game and how daunting it must be for anyone to have return – I guess divorcees would find your advice just as useful. Reading Bruce’s comment, its sad if people (but particularly women in this instance) start getting desperate and lose confidence in their natural attractiveness.
.-= David Rogers´s last blog ..Learn to Network =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 16, 2010 at 4:00 am

Dear David -

That was so nice that you said that women have natural attractiveness. There is so much emphasis in the media on youth and beauty that it makes a new single feel very scared if they don’t have both.

Yes, of course this post is for singles too. They don’t know where to start either.

Thanks for your always kind support, David.

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Nancy Shields
Twitter:
July 16, 2010 at 4:07 am

Hi Corinne,
Great article and love the humor!!! It’s funny you mention the match.com, etc. I find myself single once again and will relish in this state for a while…. maybe one day I can try it. For now, we put so much emphasis on men/women relationships that I am starting a new Social Networking site for Women with an Inspirational Flair called http://makegirlfriends.com/

We all need those great women friendships and of course we also need the guy relationships too!!!!

I love your style of writing and glad you posted this article. Great info you offered so many and I suggest that your readers take heed to what you wrote…..Keep writing and enjoy the dating; my suggestion is to take things lightly and gently and allow the “friend” relationship at first to build to something even deeper!

You can read my blogs at http://blog.makegirlfriends.com/
.-= Nancy Shields´s last blog ..Thank You! =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 16, 2010 at 4:24 am

Dear Nancy -

Your guest post here was so well received. Thank you again.

And there is no one who will support you more that a best girlfriend. So I love your new site.

Whenever you are ready to date , you will go for it again. No rush.

There will always be a new batch of singles out there.

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Affiliate Management Maven July 16, 2010 at 9:45 am

I had avoid internet dating for years making excuses. It was really about my own lack of confidence.

I did jump in this year and started in February 2010. I met a few guys and it didn’t always work out. In April I got contacted by a guy and after a few dates we decided to see each other. It’s been almost months now and it’s going great.

Bruce touches on an important topic – women should not compromise. I’ve heard a lot of stories from guys who said that after one date, they never meet the women again because they didn’t represent themselves accurately in their bio.

I did represent myself accurately because I don’t want to start a relationship base on false facts.

Krizia
.-= Affiliate Management Maven´s last blog ..7 reasons why starting a blog sucks big time =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 16, 2010 at 10:01 am

Dear Krizia -

Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs.

I am rejoicing with you that you have found someone you enjoy.
And on the Internet. That should give some people here some confidence.

Now – YOU HAVE A NEW BLOG. Congratulations.

All your stars and guardian angels are in the correct space for you.

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Tyrone July 17, 2010 at 12:58 am

Hi Corinne,

Great insights in here. It’s true, online dating could be both fearing and fun but it’s how you actually setup your purpose why are you actually getting through those dating sites and it’s not only about seeking replacement, it’s actually about how you also find yourself with people who will appreciate you the most via this modern age on the web.

It maybe not too serious for some but but it also has to be getting yourself to improve confidence, meet new people in a different environment and express naturally based on facts like what Krizia mentioned. :) I also have known few good relationships built from this medium so no wonder how some people find it as a serious way to find their better half too.

Tyrone

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 17, 2010 at 10:23 am

Dear Tyrone -

Although we live in a couples oriented world, there are many of us – singles like me – who are happily unattached.

Motivation as you said is important. I liked this part of your comment

“It’s actually about how you also find yourself with people who will appreciate you the most via this modern age on the web.”

Not everyone is looking for marriage.

Some of the men I dated from the Internet are now friends. They even comment on my blog pretty regularly.

You are right. It is nice to find friends who appreciate you.

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Nancy Shields
Twitter:
July 17, 2010 at 11:19 am

You hit a hot topic Corinne juding from your comments….excellent!

Here is my two cents, after the dating, and what next if there is a next….

.-= Nancy Shields´s last blog ..Win 100 gift certificate to Poggio – Sausalito’s award winning italian restaurant =-.

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Benjamin July 19, 2010 at 4:28 pm

First of all, this is an awesome gift you’re giving to widows, Corinne.

My Buddhist freinds would say “very good karma”.

For me, personally, though… I don’t think internet dating is my thing. (But I’m not a widower)

Without body language as a guide, I have very little ability to tell what responses (or lack thereof) really mean.

Making the time to actually meet new people in person always seemed like a better investment of my time (even though I was on match.com for a little while).

Incidentally, I’m married now… so it’s all hypothetical.

keep smiling,

Benjamin
.-= Benjamin´s last blog ..Podcast – Stress Reduction and Accelerated Learning =-.

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Amy LeForge July 31, 2010 at 9:37 am

Corinne, what a wonderful resource for widows! My sweet neighbor is a widow and thought she’d found a good guy, only to discover later that he was a pathological liar. He conned her out of some cash (not too horribly much, but painful nonetheless) and she’s left feeling just awful. Thanks for posting this.
.-= Amy LeForge´s last blog ..FFYF- Day Off Edition =-.

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Corinne
Twitter:
July 31, 2010 at 9:44 am

So sorry, Amy -

Tell your neighbor that she should not give up because she found one rotten apple.

There are nice and lonely people waiting to meet her.

PS Glad it was not too much cash.

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cane May 11, 2011 at 1:16 am

@EMPTY NEST SYNDROME – certainly not you

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Sandy December 2, 2013 at 10:38 pm

This is a great advice for widows and newbies who want to try online dating. Keep sharing!

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