How many women with menopause does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer:
One! ONLY ONE! And do you know WHY?
Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!
They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out
And once they figured it out they wouldn’t be able to find the (bleeping) light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the
SAME CABINET FOR THE PAST 17 YEARS!
But if they did,
By some
MIRACLE OF GOD, ACTUALLY FIND THEM,
2 DAYS LATER,
THE CHAIR THEY DRAGGED TO STAND ON
TO CHANGE THE STUPID LIGHT BULB
WOULD
STILL BE
IN THE SAME
SPOT!
AND
UNDERNEATH IT
WOULD BE THE
WRAPPER
OF THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS
CAME IN!!!!
BECAUSE NO ONE PICKS UP
OR CARRIES
OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!
IT’S A WONDER
WE HAVEN’T
ALL
SUFFOCATED
FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE
THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP
THROUGH
THE ENTIRE HOUSE
IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY
TO CLEAN THIS PLACE
AND DON’T GET ME STARTED
ON WHY NO ONE
CHANGES
THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!!!!
I’m sorry. What was the question again?
(Unknown author. But too funny not to share. If it is yours, let me know)
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Corinne, thanks. I laughed all the way to the bottom because it is so true in my house. No one ever cleans up their spills. I swear they all need glasses. Someone spilled some dark brown liquid in my refrigerator during the night or early morning. Did they clean it up? No. Whatever it is, it is sticky. It is all over every bowl lid and sitting under every bowl on the second shelf. Thank God I had tight filling lids on the bowls. Have I cleaned it up? Nope. I am going to let it sit for awhile and see if anyone else notices it.
Oh, the joys of having a family. I do love them but sometimes I also do become that menopausal woman in your article. Actually, I am post-menopausal which is a bit calmer than menopausal. Love you. Have a glorious day and Happy New Year.
Patricia
Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkers last blog post..Christmas Is Over For 2008
Dear Patricia -
Have you ever noticed that NOBODY ever owns up to those mysterious spills?
Never mind clean it up.
I’ll make a bet you will not be able to stand the mess for long. Maybe a day.
That article made me laugh so much I kept reading my own blog over and over.
I think you can choose your friends by who thinks things are funny!
Happy New Year back, my dear friend!
Did you know that most later-life divorces (after 50) are initiated by women …. My ex-husband’s last day in my home was the eve of my 50th birthay … Best present I ever gave to me — freedom …. Your blog does not have print large enough to describe how my anger escalated and the final straw was – truly – the vacuum cleaner. I vacuumed half of the house and he was supposed to do the rest. The vacuum cleaner sat there for a week while I stared at it everyday and then got the message it was delivering and then it became the catalyst to get the shirker and loser out of my house. Thanks, Hoover for being my “straw”.
You men ought to watch out – Hell hath no fury like a woman screwed over fifteen thousand times and you will never know which one will be “the one”. Change the freakin lightbulb!!
Wow! Wow!
I get confused as I read down only to find out that it’s a joke!
Thanks for the laugh.
Raymond Chuas last blog post..Think The Law of Attraction Out of The Box
Now add in steroids. Prednisone. Millions of women battle autoimmune disorders, and the treatment for those are steroids. The mix of menopause and “roid rage” is truly The Perfect Storm.
Dear Lily Rose -
Your example of the vacumn cleaner is a perfect one. I think sometimes we take and take and take it – and then some small thing happens -
AND WE ARE DONE HERE!
The people involved when we get that “click” are in shock. But it usually changes our lives for the better!
Dear Rhondal -
Why didn’t I think of that!
THE PERFECT STORM!
You can write the sequel!
Dear Raymond -
Glad you got it is a joke – but not too funny for those of us who have transited that territory!
Have to admit it is a little exaggerated. But it made me laugh.
You will understand it better in about 20 years. But don’t rush!
Hi Corrine,
I think I have been exposed to this experience in the first 20 years of my life. (Don’t forget that I have a mum at home)
But I think I’ll get much deeper understanding in this in the next 20 years like you said.
Raymond Chuas last blog post..Think The Law of Attraction Out of The Box
Corinne,
Happy New Year to you, too! I forwarded this post to my entire email list and the responses I’ve gotten are hilarious. We all feel the same way, but a lot of people brought up the not changing the toilet paper roll and leaving the seat up.
I am amazed at the number of my friends who now admit to being on hormone replacement therapy. I can’t take any because of previous history of blood clots, so I rely on antidepressants. They work just about as well. You have hot flashes but they don’t bug you too much. You have mood swings, but recognize them for what they are and just muddle through. The pills seem to give me that extra few seconds to consider what I’m about to yell, curse, or throw before I do it and it often gives me the chance to change my reactions to things and all is better.
Instead of throwing the empty toilet paper roll at my son, I take away his Nintendo DS until he goes in and puts the new roll in place. He has even gotten to where he makes sure there are spare rolls within reach at all times.
I’ve been practicing “The Times They Are A-Changin’” for karaoke, and Tracy Chapman does sing it best.
Sherri
Being the Change I Wish to See – Sherris last blog post..The Times They Are A Changin’
Being on the other side, I can tell you that it DOES get better. You’ll still be changing the lightbulbs, but you’ll enjoy the mindful practice opportunity it gives you. Really! Well, once in a while, anyway.
G.
Grace Kleppins last blog post..The best advice I gave myself in 2008
Dear Sherrie -
Boy are you tough! I wish I had known you when I had FOUR BOYS in my house growing up!
Lots of women can not take hormones. I could not either. My mother died of a hormone dependent cancer.
I remember my doctor telling me -
“Pretend you a a farmer’s wife in the 1800’s. Just forget it!”
Dear Grace -
I now have handyman in our complex!
No more private house.
No more changing lightbulbs.
He even takes out the garbage.
Bliss.
But that is now. Where was he in the old days???
Corinne, wow! your doctor was so empathetic and understanding, NOT! When I couldn’t go the hormone route, the anti-depressant anti-anxiety route was quickly offered and encouraged. And it really helps.The hormones work on your neurotransmitters, so another way to them works well.
I’m glad I only think about throwing the empty roll at my son instead of actually doing it. Without psych meds, I would actually do it and that isn’t good.
The reason I punish my son for not taking care of the toilet paper is he complains loudly if he has to bring me some when he forgets to replace it and I forget to check. It’s one of the few things I hope to do for his future wife or partner. It’s one of those common courtesies I have a pet peeve about. My mom never let any of us off for not changing the roll. His dad always changed the roll. He’s going to change the roll.
If his dad can manage it so can he! His dad had only brothers and his mom was insistent they all learn to at least change the roll. If they do nothing else to show they care about anyone besides themselves, they will at least do this. His brothers are good about it, too.
Sherri
Being the Change I Wish to See – Sherris last blog post..Religion and God’s Existence
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