Comments on: GRIEF – Beginnings and endings

By: Matt Gagnon

Matt Gagnon — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:27:00 +0000

Losing a loving friend is one of the hardest things you will deal with. It is different from a family member, but it still hurts like crazy. You will always remember how she used to be before she got sick, and it will make you sad to think about here being sick and weak. You will make it. I am so sorry about your loss. Matt Gagnons last blog post..50 cent is the best rapper ever

By: Corinne

Corinne — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 15:40:16 +0000

Dear Therapist Seattle -

Thank you for your comforting words.

I am feeling better but if I read something in the newspaper I still reach for the phone to share it with Arlene before I remember.

Especially, if it proves I was RIGHT about something!

You may have read my article on my roof crisis and flood.

Arlene left me some money. She paid for my new roof.

I hope she is hearing my thanks from whereever she is! She would be smiling!

By: Therapist Seattle

Therapist Seattle — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:58:28 +0000

Losing your best friend makes most living moments empty. At a human level we hold on to everything. An old dress, books, photographs and every single memory. Letting go slowly but surely will definitely make life worth the living again. Remember the good times and thank God she had a friend in you and you in her. Staying true to the memory of someone is not losing who you are. Even our smiles and our hope.

By: Chris

Chris — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:13:46 +0000

As most of us come to know these things are easier said than done.
The beauty is that so many people care about you… People you haven’t even met. Sure, go out and treat yourself. Do Arlene proud – maker her laugh too.

By: Corinne

Corinne — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 19:15:30 +0000

Hi Chris -

Thanks for coming by. I always enjoy your comments.

And of course you are right. We are grieving for ourselves.

I wouldn’t have Arlene back for anything in this world. She deserved to be at peace at last.

She also would not want to be here – or to see me unhappy.

If she could read your comment, this is what she would say to me.

“Didn’t I leave you some money? Shut up and go out and buy something nice for yourself!”

By: Corinne

Corinne — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 19:13:16 +0000

Dear Sherri – Debt Free or Bust -

OMG

This is so brilliant! Thank you.

“Allow yourself to grieve and know that grieving isn’t a microwave thing. It’s a crock pot thing. When you’re done you’ll know.”

I believe when we talk to our departed loved ones, they hear us and they will help us. But we have to ask.

By: Chris

Chris — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 11:52:16 +0000

All our grief and hurt is about us – what WE have lost. Bereavement is bad but it is final, unlike a runaway child or a partner who leaves you.
When you turn your loss outwards things will improve.
It will take some years so in the meantime fill your days with something good.
Remember the dear departed didn’t ever want you to be unhappy.

By: Debt Free or Bust

Debt Free or Bust — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 05:03:18 +0000

My grandfather died in 1981, my grandmother in 1992, and my dad in 2000. I still miss them all. There are still things I want to talk with them about now that I’m older and have a child of my own. The deep pain is gone, but there are times when I miss them so very much. I also feel my dad would be a lot more supportive of my blogging career than my mom is, and I miss being able to talk with him about writing. He was an excellent writer and enjoyed it.

The first year was the toughest for each death, and by 5 years most of the pain was gone and I could reminisce about them without getting emotional. But there are still times I wish I could have 10 more minutes with them, so I just sit down in a quiet place and talk out loud to them as if they were actually there in front of me. Then I imagine what they might reply, and I feel better. Sometimes I think their spirits influence my thoughts about what they might say. I’m not sure how the afterlife works so I don’t know, but I sense it sometimes.

Whatever you do, don’t stay numb. Not feeling doesn’t work. Allow yourself to grieve and know that grieving isn’t a microwave thing. It’s a crock pot thing. When you’re done you’ll know.

Debt Free or Busts last blog post..Interview with a million dollar blogger

By: Corinne

Corinne — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:43:02 +0000

Dear Karen – Karooch -

If I had seen that movie, I would have cried too.

Not particularly mourning my father – but sad about how he wasn’t the wonderful father I would have wanted.

I guess he did his best – it wasn’t as good as he could have.
I am sure I am not alone with those thoughts.

Thanks for always contributing such thoughtful comments!

By: Karen (karooch from Scraps of mind)

Karen (karooch from Scraps of mind) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 23:59:57 +0000

My father died 30 years ago. It took me 3 months before I realised it properly enough to really cry. I was watching an old black and white movie where the father of the young girl dies and after his death a bouquet of flowers are delivered to her at her graduation, which he had previously organised. I think that was the trigger for me to really feel the loss. I started crying for the actress but I discovered I was really crying for me. Karen (karooch from Scraps of mind)s last blog post..Do You Scrapbook to the Left or the Right?