Just wanted to give you guys an update, I gave ,y grandmother a scrapbook for her 80th Birthday. The scrapybook is dedicated to my grandfather. I made several themed pages of family pictures throughout the year such as birthdays, the birth of grandchildren, vacations, etc. I also asked my family members & close family friends to write about their favorite memories of my grandfather. I placed the memories in the scrapbook, it was so touching to read what people wrote about my Grandfather.

The scrapbook is far from completetion, which is where the fun part comes in. I wrote a note to my Grandmother asking her to continue the book.

I gave her the book at her birthday party and she said she wasn’t quite ready to look at it, that night she went home and told me she stayed up looking at the book. She told me that she absolutely loves the book and that it is a very special present.

And here is the good news: We have already seen a change- she seems much happier and much more willing to talk about my Grandfather. She already started collecting pictures to add on to the book!

Thank you to everyone for all of your help! Your ideas worked and I am so very thankful! I think a scrapbook in memory of a deceased loved one is such a great idea and an excellent way to keep the person’s memory alive.

-Becca

You never know where your words will go when you write a comment.

I knew it took some time to copy that poem.

I mentioned I shared it on my other article which is now a forum for widows.

Here is an answer I got today.

“The poem is so beautiful. I have saved it, and printed it, and read over it several times a day. I puts in to words my beliefs and how I hope and pray things truly are.

Today is my Gary’s 43rd birthday. I can’t believe he’s not here. I am taking the children to the masaleaum (sp?) after school for the first time for them. I am so scared. I need him so. I dreamt about him for the first time in weeks last night, and I am so thankful for that. I have to believe he is right here with me. It is the only way I can get through this.”

Thought you should know how you helped by being an angel.

I always say that the smartest people comment on my blog.

Good work!

Death is Nothing at All
by Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)Canon of St. Paul’s Cathedral sometimes referred to as ‘What is Death?’

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without affect,
without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.

All is well.

http://skdesigns.com/internet/articles/prose/holland/death/

How beautiful. Perfect consolation. I wonder who wrote it.

Did you ever see my article

http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide

There are about 250 widows who help each other. I had no idea I was starting a forum when I wrote it almost two years ago.

I just put it on that site. I think it is so consoling.

Thank you for sharing it, Judy.

Death is naught
I have only passed to the other side.
I am me. You are you.
That which we were for each other, we are still.
Give me the name you have always given me.
Speak to me as you have always done.
Don’t use a different tone.
Don’t adopt a sad or solemn air.
Continue laughing at things
we laughed at together.
Pray, smile, think of me, pray with me.

Let my name be spoken at home
as it always has been -
Without emphasis of any kind,
or trace of a shadow.
Life still means what it meant.
It is that which it has always been.
The thread has not been cut.
Why would I be out of your thoughts?
Simply because I am out of your sight?
I am not far, just on the other side of the path.

You see, everything is fine.
You will rediscover my heart.
In it, you will rediscover pure tenderness…
(I love you. I always will.)

Blessings and peace be with you, dear heart.

Thanks for writing me off line. I wanted to share back to
Corinne and everyone about our name connection. !!!

Becca’s Mom is named Debbie and her Grandmother is Lillian….

AND……. if that was not enough, I have a niece named…. BECCA.

I said to Bec, that is a GOD WINK.

xo xo
Deb
.-= Deb Estep´s last blog .."Love Is The New Religion" =-.

Our next door neighbor Bill passed away and left behind his wife Lil.
They too shared nearly 60 years of a perfect union. They were everything to one another. 4 children and a handful of grandchildren.
Lil was devastated. We talked in the yard and on the phone often.
Nothing could console her in his passing. She cried often. I knew the tears were healing and I never discouraged them.

Sometime around the 2nd anniversary of Bill’s passing I had brought
up the idea of a talk therapist. Her children had asked over many times to seek out some counseling. I explained to her that I knew of
a good therapist that I had seen after my divorce. I offered to drive her and on the day of the first appointment, I even went in the office with her. I offered to be in there, and Lil agreed 100%. There was nothing she had not shared with me anyways.
Over a short time of several months, she stopped going. Time and also the therapy were a great help for Lil.

I also gave Lil a scrap book of sorts very early on. I found a lovely
photo album and added empty plastic sleeves. She was able to save all the sympathy cards fully opened up for viewing. I gave her many
poems and little notes too to keep adding to the book.

The funeral home had grief sessions, and her daughter took her to
a few of those. In the sessions they advised the folks to journal write.
I would bet you that Lil has filled up a dozen journals. She write to Bill. That has been quite healing.

If you would email me Becca, I have some of the word documents
that I had given to Lil and I would be more than happy to
email them your way for your grandmother.

What came out in Lil’s therapy was that she felt guilt for being alive.
She felt guilty for enjoying life, even for being around her family
without Bill around.

Keeping your grandmother from going into a closed off shell is
the very best thing you and her family can do. Take her places,
CALL HER. Send her mail. You reaching out like you have
trying to help her shows me what a SWEETHEART you are.

Sincerely,
Deb Estep AFMomDeb@aol.com
.-= Deb Estep´s last blog .."Love Is The New Religion" =-.