HMMMM. You have given me some new excuses. I am a Life Coach and I could have a huge surge in clients so I am just not available.

If you have followed my posts, you noticed my best friend died only four weeks ago.

I cannot say I am in despair over my grief. I was praying for her to go. She was suffering.

I just feel the need not to talk about it. During her 14 month illness, I was the “go to” person for all current reports on her condition for all her friends – and she had many.

Now, all these people want to talk about their feelings and I am just not up to it. It is just too close to the bone right now. Maybe later. But I am not making any promises as to when.

I just want to be quiet and absorb what has happened. I have no idea how long that will take.

My clients are a different story. Their challenges are not mine.

I so appreciate your loving and understanding support.

The busy crowd definitely has it WRONG. When we suffer a loss we need to grieve. If it’s a big loss, no matter what kind, it takes 6-12 months of grieving to heal.

Putting off grieving doesn’t make the pain go away. It puts off grieving to come out in other, usually unhealthy behaviors, relationships, eating, drinking, drug abuse, name your vice here. No wonder so many are on so many medications for so many stress-related illnesses. Unresolved grief is stressful and will lead to a heart attack just as surely as all that pressure at work for 50 years.

I use the excuse that I have extra student tutoring hours if I need to get away from everyone for awhile. I can also stay away from family by saying gas is too expensive to make the long trip that month. For friends, I’m tutoring or writing and they get my voicemail. I usually warn them via text message that I won’t be checking messages of any kind, including email until X. If they seriously need me they have to come to my house and get me, which they will only do if it’s really important. My family can call my son and he’ll let me know if something is vital.

Giving yourself time to grieve is very important to mental and physical health. If you allow yourself time to grieve, you will be more functional while grieving than if you go into denial and get busy.

Think up some excuses and use them whenever you need time to yourself for whatever reason, grieving or just being. I like my own company and cherish the ability to be alone.

Great article and important!
Sherri

Debt Free or Bust – Sherris last blog post..Chapter 7 Bankruptcy in Louisiana, an In-Depth Look Part I

I would go even further than you have and say many people are terrified of being alone.

They would rather be with an abusive person than none at all.

Personally, I look forward to having no plans for the day. Just hanging out with myself.

And you know what? I am pretty good company!

I get my best thinking work, as you do, when I am alone for the day.

When I first started talking about my incest, a few people told me to stop talking about it and get on with my life. When a person is hurting whether it is from incest or a death of someone close, they need time to be quiet with themselves. That is my opinion for what it is worth. I have learned that when people push me into getting past something, like grief, it is usually because they are uncomfortable with their own unresolved issues. I don’t rush through my own process or ignore it because others may be uncomfortable with where I am. If I do, I am doing a disservice to myself and to them.

Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkers last blog post..Using Your Pain To Live Your Divine Purpose

Thanks!

JoLynn Braleys last blog post..Drop the Excuses – Sit Tight & Work Out with Richard Simmons

You can always buy blue plates tomorrow.

I know it must be hard to imagine me down but like every one else, I have my ups and downs. So I enjoy the solitude from time to time – it gives me a chance to recharge and connect spiritually. I’m trying my hand at meditation but I sometimes fall asleep when that happens! LOL

Stephen Hopsons last blog post..End of the Week Gratitude Theme #30

You seem to be a very introspective person who really thinks deeply and needs the time alone to do that.

I should get more into the Psalms. Have not read them in a long time.

But, I do believe in prayer. And I think the best prayer is “HELP!”

I find it works for me. It helps to get under the struggles of life and see what is really important.