EVIL E-MAILS – (Thanks?)

I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year.

My cousin Pam sent me this list and I had to laugh because I had received every one of these.

I don’t think she was the one who compiled it – so whoever did – thanks for the warnings.

The best part is the people who send them to you do not know how to cut and paste and blind copy so you have the opportunity to send the information from Snopes and Hoaxbusters to their entire email list.

Here’s your dose of doom for today!

• Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a
  paper towel.
• I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last
  person was doing while flipping through the channels.
• I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has
  happened on it since it was last washed.
• I can’t enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon
  peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces.
• I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of
  a public bathroom.
• I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the
  glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every
  envelope that needs sealing.
• Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
• I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown)
  who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
• I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
  $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating
  in their special e-mail program
• I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
  for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.
• I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
  freaks with no eyes or feathers.
• I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
  buffalo on a hot day.
• Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
  forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
  minutes.
• Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove
  toilet stains.
• I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car
  so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.
• I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
  products are atheists who refuse to put ‘Under God’ on their cans.
• I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
• I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
  perfume sample and rob me.
• I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
  for or which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda ,
  Singapore and Uzbekistan
• If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
  minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this
  afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you
  to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened
  to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s
  cousin’s beautician.

OK – kidding aside now.

The big questions in my mind – with all the fear in the world already -

WHO WRITES THESE SCARY EMAILS?

WHY?

You might also want to check my article here

The End of The World – (again?)

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