Decision – Decision – what to do what to do

You are at a complete impasse about a decision.  You don’t know what to do.

We have all been there.  Can I afford this car?  Should I quit this job?  Make an offer on that house?  Get a divorce?  Move somewhere else?

We feel like we are in a state of paralysis.  We can’t go back.  We can’t go forward.  We are stuck. .

1.  Unless this is a life or death situation, consider putting off making a decision for right now. Not making a decision is a decision.

This has a bad name called procrastination.  Every article I read says we have to conquer this habit.  My question is, “Why?”  It could mean you are just not ready to make a move on your dilemma right now.

2.  Perhaps you need space in your heart away from it for a while. Take some personal days.   If you have vacation time coming, use it.  Don’t go anywhere.  Stay home and don’t pick up any calls.  Put your email on vacation time. Tell people that you are away.  They won’t call.

3.  Don’t let anyone pressure you to do something because it is the deal of the century. There is always another deal right around the corner.  Another car, another house – another job – even a new relationship.  And chances are the deal that is being presented will be there later and better.

4.  Don’t discuss it with friends. Everyone loves to give advice and you will be more confused than ever.  You might want to consider a short term life coach or a therapist who has no agenda about what you should do.  They will just explore your options with you.

5.  Get a notebook and write about it.  Write three pages every day about anything.  You have to go to the cleaners, write it down – just random thoughts without punctuation and not necessarily about your problem.  I have found after about a page and a half things start to come out without your pushing it.  Do not read these pages over.  Just write them.  Try it for at least a week. Your intuition knows what to do about this.  It will start breaking through.

6.  Ask yourself the question, “What is the worst thing that can happen here?” Then go on to the next question, “Can I handle it?”  The answer is probably yes.

7.  Remember it is your life.  You are not accountable to anyone but yourself.  It may include consequences to others so you may not be popular.  It will be empowering.  Stand your ground.

8.  When you finally quiet down and therefore get rid of some of the fear, listen to your gut. You can’t hear or feel this when you are scared.  What do the opposite sides of this decision feel like?

Visualize the options.  Go there in your mind.  Pretend you are in a hall and there are doors to different rooms where different scenarios are playing.  Be invisible.  But go in and watch.

9.  Even if you never pray, pray now.  To something.  To someone.  To yourself. Ask for guidance and clarity and the best thing to happen.  I remember a man telling me that he did not believe in a Higher Power so he decided to pray to the ceiling in his room.  He told me the ceiling helped him.

10.  Remind yourself that ten years from now this decision may not be so critical. You will wonder what all the fuss was about.

In spite of all this introspection, if you find that you must make a decision – jump into the deep end of the pool –

As Nike says so well, “JUST DO IT!”

Make the decision.

Plead insanity later.

Picture by Mike_tn