My cousin Gail has a heavy schedule.

Monday she goes for Rebirthing,

Tuesday to her Chinese holistic doctor,

(I gave her my corn pot to boil the herbs)

Wednesday for Bodywork,

Thursday to Overeaters Anonymous,

Friday for Marielle Healing,

Saturday, she’s busiest of all -

smudging at the Earth Wisdom meeting,

followed by her T’ai Chi lesson,

ending with a Hypnotherapy session.

 In between -

she practices Out Of Body Experiences,

does Crystal meditations,

(her crystal is charged with finding a lover and curing her Candida)

Neuro-Linguistic programming,

channels her Spirit Guide,

and is focused on Unconditional Love.

She has quit her job because it interferes with her Abundance. 

Every Sunday morning she calls to tell me how miserable she is.

Her friends all Live In The Present and she can’t get a straight answer from anyone.

Don’t suggest -

Past life regression, Graphology, Palmistry, TM, Tarot, Numerology, Firewalking, Kaballah,

I CHING, Reiki, Sweat Lodges, Bioenergetics, Aromatic therapy

- that phone psychic in Texas who has access to the Akashic records,

The Forum, or God forbid Astrology.

(She has a Saturn return and won’t discuss it!)

She’s done all that. 

I guess it’s better than just hanging around

waiting for things to get better.