“No, I can’t have lunch,” I’ll say.
“Some other time.
I’m booked today.”
Too busy piecing up a heart.
After all these months,
it’s still apart.
“It’s not a good idea,” I’ll say.
You’re in my thoughts all through the day.
“We can’t be friends. Not now. Not yet.”
I dream you have not gone away.
“I’m really tied up now,” I’ll say.
“A lot is going on.” I lie.
Replacement parts are hard to find.
I’d see your face and start to cry.
“No, I can’t have lunch,” I’ll say.
Feels like we broke up yesterday.
To sit so close and not to touch.
It’s much too soon for us to lunch.
Even if you have been the person who initiated the breakup, there is disappointment, regrets for time wasted and many lonely hours wondering if you have made the right decision after all.
It would be nice if you could retain a friendship. But when you have an artery still gushing, the main intention should be to stop the bleeding – and finally – heal.
Then, maybe. Or maybe not. Perhaps this is a chapter which is closed.
One day, you may just remember the love that was there.
One of my favorite bloggers, JEMi, wrote an article recently on infidelity, but there is a section of it that applies here.
TIME: I keep saying it because it’s that much of a component. Even with the best intentions at hand, it’s simply denial if you claim you’re over it when you’re not. The truth is you never forget- not really. Being passive aggressive won’t really help your cause either. Bursting with a sudden urge for revenge (which I highly recommend you NOT do) because you repressed and depressed… it can’t possibly be good for your state of mind. I’ll admit it really takes gall to step back and find a way to deal with this. But in the name of your happiness, I encourage you to keep this in mind – you will make it through. Maybe not this very moment. But you will.
You can read this excellent article on her blog IN MY HEELS here. She is a young woman with great wisdom.
What is your take on this? Do you think it is possible to be friends after a bad breakup?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Corinne, I think there is an inverse relationship between the ability to be friends and the total emotional investment. If you were deeply in love then I’d say friendship is unlikely. On the other hand, if you feel released by the breakup, and you former partner isn’t to insecure, then maybe.
Every situation is different and we all have our own unique baggage, so the best answer is – it really depends on several factors.
.-= Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills´s last blog ..Is Your Life Satisfying or Disappointing? =-.
Gutsy article Corinne.
I broke up with the only man that I was every in love with – and also truly loved – and we have remained the closest and sincerest friends.
As to the others, and there were many, oh so many … (Bless me father for I have sinned!!!).
When I am in my dotage, I shall have delicious pleasure recalling all those wonderful and wild and insane and sometimes sick relationships with those fabulous and wild men .. excepting 2 husbands.
I’m grateful to them all and in my mind at this stage of my life – they are still my friends (excepting the 2 husbands).
I wonder if they ever think of me? I hope they will be kind.
I liked the poem. It reminded me of the work of Jacques Prévert. If you haven’t read Paroles I commend it to you now. Particularly look at ‘Déjeuner du Matin’ or ‘Breakfast’ in English.
Dear Chris -
Just read the poem. Loved it. It is like a painting
You certainly have put me in esteemed company.
Thank you.
For those who are interested, here is the link to the poem.
http://tinyurl.com/n4xwlp
Dear Lily Rose -
Well,I guess it is gutsy – because it is true.
I don’t hide too much on this blog because I consider all of you my friends. I probably won’t change much = so here I am = with all my warts.
From what you have said here and there on your comments, you don’t have much truck with organized religion.
So, we are happy to have this outlet for your confessions. There is no penance here. Not one Hail Mary. We love you.
God knows – they are all interesting. Don’t go away. Honesty is what makes you so lovable.
Dear Jonathan -
I value your comment because I consider you a wise coach.
Yes, I guess the litmus test is how deep the love was and how that determines the loss.
Forgiveness is the ultimate goal. But perhaps the interim step is acceptance and the knowledge that we are all doing the best we can in this moment.
All things pass. Even the worst heartbreak.