You only get a minute.
The stone has not been set
before you get the question
“Are you seeing someone yet?”
You have not filed the insurance,
transferred a single bond
before they sing the litany
“Remember, life goes on.”
It’s not the lonely evenings
that strike terror in your breast.
It’s the envelopes that come addressed
to “Ms. You and your guest.”
The delemmas’s not in grieving
or even what to wear
but where you find a body
to escort you to affairs.
They say you’re far too fussy.
There is nothing much out there.
They use as their criteria
if a man can breathe and stare.
I’d run away to Tonga,
Abu Dhabi or Tibet,
but I know that some one there would ask
“Are you seeing someone yet?”
If you find yourself a widow,
start wailing right away.
You only get a minute
before you have to play.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
An old boyfriend came to my husband’s viewing–we ended on good terms, I had even fixed him up with a co-worker some years ago. He has worked with my mother for over a decade. It was kind and respectful for him to come. More than one person, however, inquired as to his marital status–like I was going to go out on a date with him after the service?
Sandi – that was a whimsical poem based on FACT! I am glad you told that story to convince people I was not exaggerating! I could not believe the questions I was asked like that.
I’ve been divorced since 1995 – no one asks me — wonder why?
*chuckle* oh the truth.. oh the ailing truth
I do get this question alot and I actually did tense up on the announcement of a close friends wedding .. wondering if I’ll be seated at the kiddies table like in the movies..
*shudders*
*sigh*
yes. life goes on. yes I know I know – but I’m not ready.. so sue me
thanks for sharing this Corrine
Grace – probably no one asks you because you are one of the rare birds in the world who is happy with her own life – and people don’t feel that it is urgent for you to have “someone.”
If you decide you do – YOU WILL! Just like that.
Dear Jemi -
Glad you got a chuckle out of my poem. Mainly, because it is true!
If you are not ready to give up on finding someone, we will not sue!
Let us know.
(Sometimes the kiddy table is the most fun! They will even dance with you!)
It will be nine months since I lost my soulmate, and there are still days I think that he will be coming home. As others have said this is just a dream, I’m going to wake up soon, but sadly this is reality.
I don’t think I could ever think of myself with anyone else, I was married for 37 years, and will never find anyone….to be as close with as my husband, his thoughts were my words, that’s how close and inter-twined we were. I’m very lonely…..and my only sister has decided to not speak to me, I was the one who lost my spouse, and my family has not been there for me, this makes it even more difficult to cope with, I think that her and her husband see their own mortality, that’s why they can’t have contact with me, maybe I’m guessing, but the so called good friends are gone, it only lasts for a little while, and then people go right back to what they were doing before, just without you. It’s bee a bad week, thanks for listening.
Lori,
It’s been almost 14 months since I lost my best friend and husband of 43 years to pancreatic cancer. I am slowly accepting that he is not coming back in this life, but I am becoming filled with the joy of realizing that he and I will be together for eternity in the next life. As a believer, I know that we will be rejoined when it is my turn to go to be with our Lord, but it is taking me awhile to feel the joy of fully trusting that will happen. At the same time, I must be open to doing whatever it is our Lord has left me here to do.
Unfortunately, ours is a couple-oriented society, so those of us who do not want to be coupled with someone ‘new’ must struggle with relating to other people…. particularly other couples. I’m praying that I learn to be strong in my Lord, and the power of His might…. and I can deal with all these uncomfortable situations that arise. So far I deal with them by just avoiding them, but that won’t always be possible. So, I’ll just keep praying!
I am so glad to be able to laugh at such a poem. Even my mother has been asking me those questions about a new man in my life. I told her that I am looking for a man, any man, to marry right away because I want a huge wedding, unlike my previous two, with showers, bacholorette parties, bridesmaids in full formal attire and the works. She has not said a word since.