ARE WE SPIRITUAL YET? – Paperback and on Kindle

by Corinne

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This is not a religious book.

There are many paths to spirituality – Infinite Intelligence, All That Is, Organized Religion or Atheism that are all valid.

We all try to be good and compassionate people whatever our backgrounds or who we have become as we grow -.
- as long as we are not hurting anyone else and doing our best to be  kind and compassionate – including to ourselves.

We are usually the last on the list.

When I had a national cable TV show on Wisdom Television, I interviewed self help and self improvement authors. More than 400 of them. Many of them regarded as famous gurus.

One of my challenges was I soon realized they were all saying the same thing in a different way. My job was to read their books and find that different “nugget” I could build an interview around.

Sometime, I had to really dig to find it.

The chapters in this book tend toward that goal. You may find a nugget that helps you in your journey towards how to build a happier and more fulfilling life.

Take what is good and resonates with you and leave the rest.

I stole most of the ideas from those authors anyway. I can’t give them individual credit, except a few quotes here and there, because they all run together.

But they make up what I believe today. So thanks to all of them for contributing to my overall education.

My intention is that you find one A-HAH moment within this book you can use.

HERE IS A SAMPLE CHAPTER

CHAPTER EIGHT – WHEN YOU CAN’T FORGIVE

You may have done a lot of work in forgiveness. You are almost done.

But there is one person left.

The one who has hurt you the most. No matter what you do, you can’t forgive the harm.

We all have that one. We are not saints. And yet, we know our lack of forgiveness is hurting us. Not the person. They may already be long gone from your life or even dead.

There are two steps before forgiveness that are the only way I have found to give relief.

No, it is not letting them off the hook.

The first is UNDERSTANDING.

Hard as it is to accept, most offenders are trying to make themselves feel better.

I heard someone say that even Jeffrey Dahmer killed all those boys (and ate them) because at some deep sick level, he thought it would make him feel better. Obviously, it didn’t because he kept it up.

His pitiful apology to the parents at his trial told the world how sorry he was. It was too late but it indicated that his compulsion was out of his control.

The person who injured you so badly, may not be out to hurt you then. There may have been some terrible pain within them that they were trying to get rid of and you happened to be there.

You were the target.

So, all the shame and resentment you have suffered all those years has nothing to do with you.

It had to do with someone else’s pain.

Perhaps that person was mentally ill. Or, a drunk. Or desperate because he was unemployed. You know the person. What was the situation at that time? He was certainly not in his right mind. Perhaps, not for a long time. Maybe a lifetime.

If you were passing a mental hospital and a patient was screaming obscenities at you out of a window, would you take it personally? It might upset you, but does it have any basis in reality?

I am also not forgetting that there are some people who are evil – born mean.

That is no reflection on you.

The injury you suffered had nothing to do with your reality. And yet, secretly, those of us who have not been able to forgive continually ask the question,

“What did I do wrong to provoke this? I must have been bad.”

This is particularly true of women who have been sexually abused. Especially, if the abuse came from a family member.

We ask ourselves, over and over through the years, “If someone that important did this to me, I must have provoked it, in some way deserved it.”

You didn’t. In most cases, you were too young to even understand what was going on. You were innocent. It was not your fault.

Sometimes, the offense was someone you trusted cheating you.

WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?

Try to understand it. Were they so lacking in money or self esteem? Were they just greedy?

Again, you know them. Why would they do it? Look at them as though you were not involved. Step away. Pretend it happened to someone else. Why did they do it? Be an outside psychologist.

In all cases, it comes down to the basic answer. Whoever hurt you did it to make themselves feel better in some way. They probably did the same to others you don’t know. But, that is not your problem.

AWARENESS.

If you are truly aware of the motivation of the person who hurt you, you put a different spin on it for yourself. It separates you from the action.

It does not excuse them. What they did was wrong. They have to live with it, not you.

You are no longer entwined in what happened. They stand alone – individuals by themselves. With their own problem and motivation.

You had nothing to do with it. That person is a stranger who happened into your life. Not much different than someone you read about in the paper.

You were a drive by shooting. Very sad but no one you know.

You now don’t have to forgive someone you hardly know and barely remember.

It is time to let it go and move on. If you can’t – so be it.

Forgive yourself for not forgiving.

Your work is done when you stop giving that person and their cruelty free rent and energy in your head.

ONE WAY:

DO NOT EVEN SPEAK THEIR NAME.


ARE YOU READY TO FORGIVE YOURSELF?


Would you like to read the rest of the book? I hope so.

ARE WE SPIRITUAL YET?

Paperback click here

$8.97

Kindle edition click here

$8.97

Special thanks to Evan for his review of the whole book on his site,

Living Authentically

You can read his whole review by clicking here

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Are We Spiritual Yet? « Living Authentically
January 24, 2012 at 5:19 pm

{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }

Nicole Rushin
Twitter:
January 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Great sampling! I believe that forgiveness is our only work. But real forgiveness is, as you say, about forgiving yourself not others. The world is a mirror of our judgements and beliefs and we can change our past simply by the way we look at it. Memories are lies anyway, stories we tell ourselves, filtered through the crayon of where we are now. I forgive, my only crime was being blamed, so I stopped blaming.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 7:27 am

Thanks, Nicole -

As usual, you turn your comment into golden art.

Blaming is the first cousin of unforgiveness. Memories are stuck in our mind.

The only thing we have is this moment and as you are reading this it is over. There is a new one.

Wonder if most of us – struggling mortals – will ever get it.
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Radu January 15, 2012 at 5:34 pm

We should realize that life is to short to be apart from family or friends. It’s a bad habit of us to cast away people that love us and bring only “bad neighbors” around us.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 7:30 am

So true, Radu -

A very bad habit.

I went to a wedding and there were two elderly ladies in the corner crying and hugging each other.

They had lived one block apart and had not spoken in 20 years.

It was a dispute over a card game.

Sad.
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Andrew from How to make a blog
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 3:09 am

Corinne

I do think many us are unforgiving without understanding the other persons point of view. We tend to block their side out and no matter what happens we cannot forgive.

Perhaps the anger gets in the way?

Andrew

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Corinne
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 7:38 am

Dear Andrew -

Anger and humiliation can certainly prolong the process of forgiving.

Not only our perpertrators – but in forgiving ourselves.

We feel so foolish having been the victim.

Sometimes, it takes a lifetime. Or, maybe we never get over it.

We are all doing the best we can.
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Dog Runs January 16, 2012 at 3:40 am

No It Is not possible. Amazon has concerns with kindle version. There is demo knitehood software of 5 versions acclaimed, to be notified for such conversions.Anyway putting up this question to the holders of Amazon will make you find a way.

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Corinne
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 7:51 am

Many, many books are offered by Amazon in both paper and on Kindle.

Take a look at some of the best sellers.

They encourage it.

Even that they sold five million Kindles in December does not mean everyone has one. I put a book up recently only in Kindle and got several complaints. So I put it up in paperback too.

They do have a new program where you give them the exclusive digital rights for 90 days and you will get some extra promotion perks. Is that what you are referring to?

I did contact them about putting it on my own blog and it is permitted. A blogger can even promote any book in their Amazon Associates membership, including Kindle..

But you can’t submit to other commercial digital companies.

I joined that program. I have no interest in their competition. Kindle is enough for me.
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keite January 16, 2012 at 4:11 am

To my opinion to forgive is the greatest thing in life. when I learned to forgive, my life totally changed.

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Corinne
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 7:53 am

What a lucky person you are, Keite.

Forgiveness is the answer.

Not everyone can do it. Most of us try.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 7:32 am

Hopefully, the devotees will wake up one day and see the fraud in leaders they have followed.

Then, they will probably blame themselves for being so naive.

They cannot be stopped – we have freedom of speech. But we can wake up.
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june January 16, 2012 at 8:36 am

Hi Corinne: I’m still working on forgiveness. It’s a tough one!
Your chapter was very helpful. Especially your comments on where that person was in their life. We tend to focus on ourselves and our hurt.

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Corinne
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Dear June -

Thanks for your comment. Yes, I am working on it too. But I have pretty much given up on that “one” person.

So I am working on myself for being unforgiving.

Maybe in my next lifetime. I have a feeling this will follow me.
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Nancy Shields
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 8:44 am

Thanks for the sample my BFF Corinne,

Oh the many hours and words written about forgiveness and all it has to offer – I especially like the words of St. Teresa here – “forgiveness is an act of self love.” For many of us we don’t have the self love to forgive or be forgiven.

It all starts and ends with LOVE – call me a “love child” (heck I was born in the 60s)…:)

Put a little love in our hearts and the world will be a better place for you and me…..

Glad you picked forgiveness as the sampling – I like the way you said that “blame” is the cousin of “forgiveness” – I believe forgiveness has many relatives and sometimes we must kick out the relatives that take up our energy and free room and board….

In gratitude to you,
Nancy
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm

i liked this part, Nancy, my BFF -

“I believe forgiveness has many relatives and sometimes we must kick out the relatives that take up our energy and free room and board….”

For many of us, that person is dead. But the hurt lingers.

Then what, my friend of great wisdom?
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Sharon Beck January 16, 2012 at 11:03 am

Corinne,

It’s so good to see you’ve written another book. I just ordered it in Paperback so I can actually hold it in my hands while I read it and then I can put it on the shelf with your other ones. Can’t wait to get it.

Sharon

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Corinne
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Dear Sharon -

I just got a Kindle from my kids at Christmas.

Like you, I like to have a book in my hand. They tell me I will get used to it.

But I sure wish you super tech lived next door. I am still figuring it out.

Hope you like the book. I have a feeling you will. It is your kind of book.

Waiting to hear.
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Raymond Chua
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 6:45 pm

To forgive is crucial and important but sometimes it’s never easy, (at least for me)
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 17, 2012 at 11:15 am

Dear Raymond -

It isn’t easy for anyone. Sometimes we have to put it off until we are ready.

After all, these people are occupying space in our heads and are not paying any rent.

Forgive yourself for not being ready.
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branded items January 16, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Corinne,

This seems like a pretty interesting book! Yes, sometimes you have to go deep into this stuff in-order to understand yourself, and also life. Do you always do book review on your site? Please do more. I like reading this reviews.

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Corinne
Twitter:
January 17, 2012 at 11:18 am

I do some book reviews. If I really like the book.

To see the ones I have done already – go to “Articles” on the right hand side of this blog – then scroll down to “Book Picks.”

You will find them there.

Right now I am involved in offering books that I have written.

This is only one of them.
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Feye Johnson January 17, 2012 at 4:05 am

I’ve read Kindle Fire reviews and I’m really interested about it. But about the spiritual status of mine, I haven’t ask those questions recently. So I’m taking some time to realize about it. It’s great o read your post. I will share my thought if I’m ready to answer those big questions. Thanks!

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Corinne
Twitter:
January 17, 2012 at 11:20 am

Dear Feye -

You never know where you will find inspiration to look at your own life from a spiritual view.

How kind are you to yourself? That is a big question.
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Debbie
Twitter:
January 17, 2012 at 10:55 am

Hi Corinne,

Great chapter to share with us. You are right. Forgiveness comes when we look at the other person or people and understand why they would do the harm.

When we can forgive them we actually feel sorry for them, because they think so little of themselves that they would have to do something so hurtful.

This is where it comes in to pray for your enemies. They are the ones that need the help!

Guess I better go check out the book. sounds very interesting.

thanks Corinne for sharing and blessing to you,(hugs too)

Debbie
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 17, 2012 at 11:23 am

Dear Debbie -

You really got the point of this story.

Looking at the motivation of the person who hurt you shines a light on their problem – not yours.

We sometimes put the blame squarely on the wrong person – OURSELVES.

- when it is just an accident that we were in the way of another’s pain.

Hope you have time to read the book. I think you will like it.
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custom items January 17, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Corinne,

Yea you are right that there were so many kindle being sold last december. They even made some raffle promotions to the lucky winners. But still only few has them and more have none.

Awareness

Well some of this situation were in people lack self esteem because they feel ignored and dumped by others. Which is a bad sign for them since they can lose self value on it.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I agree. There are billions of people in the world and only millions have a Kindle.

I misjudged that. When I started to get complaints from some of my most loyal readers that they did not have a Kindle, I went back and put my latest four books in paperback.

Self esteem is a problem for all of us. We feel we have it under control – then WHAM – it comes up again.

It is part of the work of our life.
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mary boland January 17, 2012 at 11:19 pm

I’m impressed, I must say. Really rarely can i encounter a blog that’s the two educative and entertaining, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail over the head. Your idea is actually outstanding; the issue is a factor that not enough people are generally speaking intelligently about. I am very happy that stumbled across this around my search for something relating to this.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 18, 2012 at 10:38 am

Dear Mary -

What a sweet compliment. I so appreciate your taking the time to make this comment.

Now that we have discovered each other, don’t be a stranger.

I have just started posting books on Kindle and in paperback on Amazon. It was a lot easier than I thought for a serious non-tech person like me.

The publishing business has changed drastically. It is now possible to expose your self published work to millions.

Before this, you ended up with 2500 books in your basement with no buyers. At great cost.

I hope you will find time to read the rest of the book. It is different.

Come back soon, Mary.
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Bruce
Twitter:
January 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

There are toxic people, some are dangerous to our health and others to our sense of peace. Just like toxic waste is to be avoided or contacted only with the proper safety equipment, so toxic people must be avoided. You give good advice here. Thanks again.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 18, 2012 at 1:07 pm

My dear Bruce -

Please know how I value your friendship and constant support for my efforts on my blog and publishing.

The toxic waste certainly should be avoided but there is some that is still cluttering our minds.

We can’t get rid of it no matter how we try.

It is a haunting.

Hopefully, this chapter will help people who are in that situation. Many of us are.

It is time for us to forgive ourselves when we are not making the progress we would like to see.

Sometimes, time must go by before we can tackle it again.
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Jacquiline January 19, 2012 at 12:10 am

This post is very inspiring and I learn a lot on it..hope you can share more..
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 20, 2012 at 12:49 pm

What I do, Jacquiline, is usually include a chapter of my books and then a link, so if it appeals, you can read the rest of it.

It is pretty reasonable at $8.97

All you have to do is click on the link at the bottom of the page. There is one for a paper edition and one if you have a Kindle.

Hope you will consider reading it and reporting back to me.
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Christine January 19, 2012 at 1:18 am

That sample chapter has caught me off guard, Corrinne. Reminds me of someone whom I cannot forgive no matter how hard I try. I must get a copy of that book and I am sure I will learn a lot from it. I feel glad to have come across this post.

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Corinne
Twitter:
January 20, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Dear Christine -

Glad the excerpt helped you. It is a hard road.

Please buy the book. I think you will like the rest.
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Anna January 19, 2012 at 3:05 am

What an awesome review this is, I caught myself nodding all the way through it! It all sounds very inspiring, once you start forgiving others, you’ll learn how to forgive yourself too.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 20, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Dear Anna -

Please work on forgiving yourself first. That is easier and is self love.

Forgiving others is down the road. Don’t rush it.
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Patricia Singleton
Twitter:
January 19, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Corinne, Sorry it took me a few days to get back here. I just bought the paperback version of your book and am looking forward to reading it.

You have really thought about the subject of forgiveness. I have done it myself as part of my healing process but it didn’t happen for a long time. At one point, I remember thinking I would never reach the point of being able to forgive my dad for the incest. I even went so far as to turn it over to God. I asked him to handle the forgiveness until I was ready to look at it myself. After years of feeling and then letting go of my rage and hurt, I was able to forgive my dad. It wasn’t a one-time decision and like you said it didn’t mean he wasn’t responsible for the incest. He was. It just meant that he had no control over my emotions and thoughts any longer. Even though I was able to forgive my dad, I don’t believe that forgiving is absolutely necessary to healing. For me the forgiveness came after the healing, not before. If you can’t forgive your abusers, forgive yourself for not being able to let go. Don’t use unforgiveness to beat yourself up with. It is okay not to forgive, if you can’t.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 20, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Well, Patricia -

Yes, my heart and soul is in this chapter.

And I thought of you all the time I was writing it. That’s why I sent it to you personally.

I am interested in your reaction to the rest of the book. It is not all about forgiveness – but it is all about taking care of yourself.

Much love to you, Patricia. You know how I appreciate your bravery in speaking for all of us.
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Ferguson January 20, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I had a very hard time forgetting and forgiving back then. But I came to realize that something was eating at me that I couldn’t explain. I learned to forgive, forget and to let go. My life seemed so peaceful after that. Where can I get a copy of your book?

Thanks!
Ferguson
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 22, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Dear Ferguson -

You are one of the lucky ones.

To get the book – go to Amazon.com

Here are the links

ARE WE SPIRITUAL YET?

Paperback click here

Or go to the bottom of this article and click there. It will bring you to Amazon’s sales page for the book in both formats. Paperback and Kindle. All you have to do is enter your credit card and you will get my book in the mail.
$8.97

Kindle edition click here

$8.97

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NIcholle January 22, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Hi Corrine, what a great review then to read about. To forgive and to forget is really an easy thing if you are an open minded person. Before, when a friend of mine betrayed me for a personal reason even though she doesn’t ask for forgiveness but still I forgive her and forget about everything that she had done to me even if it really hurts. By that time I already had a unending peace of mind and joy in my heart. Well, anyway Corrine thanks for this great review! Very well written and keep it up!
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 22, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Nicholle my dear.

You are one of the lucky ones. How good and easy it was for you.

I pray the rest of us will follow your example.
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Nicholle Olores February 14, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I hope so Corrine. There is a total happiness if you learn to forgive. :)
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David Rogers
Twitter:
January 23, 2012 at 12:13 am

When all said and done, forgiveness is something that helps us, makes us stronger and in the long run more likely to feel better. Living in a sate of hate and anger isn’t healthy.
Interested to follow your success with Kindle and Amazon generally – something I need to look into more myself.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 23, 2012 at 8:08 am

Dear David -

Wise words -

“Living in a sate of hate and anger isn’t healthy.” It clutters our mind.

So, start publishing on Amazon. It’s really easy once you get the hang of it. Let us know when you do.
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Justin Mazza
Twitter:
January 23, 2012 at 8:50 am

Hi Corinne,
This book sounds awesome. The chapter on forgiveness is so true. Especially during childhood when our peers can take out their anger on us. It’s true it is their baggage and has nothing to do with us even though the pain still lingers.

Letting go feels good and reframing the experience helps.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 23, 2012 at 9:33 am

Dear Justin -

Glad you liked the sample chapter. I think you would enjoy the book.

My heart is in it. And I think we all share the same heart in many ways.

Hope you will read it and give me a comment on Amazon.

That really helps people to decide to read it.
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Claire from Clean Mold January 23, 2012 at 10:46 am

It’s true, i did notice a lot of people confuse spirituality and religion, maybe because they’ve been so close to each other for a very long time.
I’m glad someone drew the line. The book looks really interesting and i might just give it a try these days.

Thank you for the review.
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Corinne
Twitter:
January 24, 2012 at 11:51 am

Dear Claire -

Glad you agree.

This quote says it all -

“Religious belief is not a precondition either of ethical conduct or of happiness.”

-Dalai Lamar
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Elena from Become Certified Nurse January 25, 2012 at 2:12 am

At one point or another everyone is abused: breach of trust, of love, etc. It’s tricky to know when you can let them abuse of you: I think it’s OK to let your husband abuse your trust when you send him to the market to buy ketchup and he brings broth – it’s not that bad. Corinne’s book is essential when it comes to awareness of malfeasance and taking action to prevent it.
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Team building games February 21, 2012 at 5:05 am

There are various path of spirituallity but I must be choosen wisely.Thanks for sharing nice spiritual idea.Hope to see further nice posts from you.

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