In light of the anniversary of my late husband, Julius’, death, I decided it was time for an apology. Turns out he was “right” about everything.
You were right, you know, Julie -
when you told me.
the bill goes down when you turn off lights
the interest on Visa is exhorbitant
Neiman Marcus expects to be paid
you don’t buy stocks from psychic feelings
going away doesn’t solve anything
those people are a waste of time
outside faucets need draining
dead flowers need plucking
the kid next door pushes drugs
the staff in my office are all hypochondriacs
jogging is for 20 year olds
love in the mouth doesn’t count
you don’t spend capital
furnaces need service
registering checks prevents overdrafts
family is everything
I’d better grow up
I was lucky to have you
and you didn’t ask for much around here.
You were right
when you said
I’d appreciate you better
after you had gone.
When Your Husband Has Died – A Survival Guide
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Your poem touches on the irony of life: What we have we do not appreciate until we lose it. What we don’t have we want desperately until we have it.
Corinne, You were lucky — My ex was not right about anything – except the time (twice a day) ..
From Lenore by email -
How beautiful! Hugs, Lenore
You are one of the few people in my life now who actually knew Julius. He admired you as a woman who had “grown up!”
So you know this post is absolutely true!
Very touching Corrine.
Hi Corrine, just learned you are going to review my book so I popped onto your site. OH THE POEM! I could have written it for my beloved yet dead husband (except I don’t write poetry). So so beautiful — I really felt it.
Thanks for asking for my book! Didn’t know you were a widow too.
Love,
mpk
Dear Reed -
You are right. We don’t always appreciate the things we have.
Sorry you missed knowing Julius. You two would have liked each other.
You were in the same business – and both have a no-nonsense approach (nicely) about life.
Dear New Goddess -
Funny!
Yeah, I was lucky. I should have known it better when he was around.
Dear Mary Patrick -
Loved the radio show you did today with Michelle Vandepas on Live Your Purpose radio. You are a riot!
I am now in favor of having a funeral for all the dreams that did not work out.
Please listen everyone! Copy this link.
http://tinyurl.com/cw72jy
I am looking forward to reading your book, FAMILY PLOTS, and reviewing it. Everybody stand by!
Thanks for the compliment on my poem. I appreciate it.
If you click on the link “When Your Husband Has Died” you will be amazed how this article turned into a forum for widows. I could not have dreamed that would happen.
That’s nice.
Jennys last blog post..National Mom’s Nite Out
Beautiful. You have enriched my day. Again.
Rod
Corinne, that was just wonderful. I’m going to be sure to hug my Hubby when he gets home tonight. Thanks.
AmyLs last blog post..Blog Business 4-15-09
Julius was a wise man, you don’t realize the truth until you’re on your own. However, I found after my divorce that I knew Much More than my ex-husband!
Hi there – this was one of those evenings…my husband passed away two years ago February 29. I’m trying to get on with my life and doing just “ok.” He would have told me to stop being so “dramatic” and get on with it. It’s not that easy, even if the marriage wasn’t perfect (37 years we worked at it ). I found, after his sudden heart attack in the driveway) that I didn’t miss the negatives; I continued to conjur up the positives. I like the poem because he was, as I suspected, right about so much. Thanks so much…and the beat goes on.
Dear Barbara -
Yes, life does go on, whether we like it or not.
A lot of widows build “shrines” to their late husbands. Very few admit that it was not always perfect.
I also remember the fun things.
But, relationships are hard. Even the best of them.
Have you checked out my post -
http://www.personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com/when-your-husband-has-died-a-survival-guide/
It has turned into a forum for widows. You might like to join in the comments. There are so many new widows.
They need you to tell them things will not be perfect – but eventually, “You’ll be doing OK”