Comments on: ABOUT “WHEN YOU CAN’T FORGIVE” - A comment from Peg Barry

By: Eolake Stobblehouse

Eolake Stobblehouse — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 00:46:11 +0000

Ooops, there it was: *under* the article.

By: Eolake Stobblehouse

Eolake Stobblehouse — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 00:37:56 +0000

How about putting up a link to the original article? I’m sure it’s somewhere in the blog, but it would be helpful to readers to have the link right here in this article. (I found it by googling the title, but not everybody will think of that.)

I found you via the excellent interview with the Wapnicks about A Course In Miracles, which I have on DVD.

By: Corinne

Corinne — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:38:02 +0000

Dear All -

Lots of thoughts here on this explosive topic.

Thanks to Never The Same River Twice for the expansion of my idea. You are right. “Viewing” the moment of the offense from the prospect of the offender is what I was getting at.

It is a very helpful suggestion to say it in different words.

By: Never the Same River Twice

Never the Same River Twice — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 14:44:24 +0000

Great blog you have here, Corinne. I’m glad I discovered it.

Forgiveness, to me, is one of the fundamental paradoxes of the human condition. In essence, we have to do a kindness to the person who wronged us in order to do a kindness to our self. That’s a difficult thing, and one that I still haven’t gotten my head around entirely. The best exercise I have found for this involves mentally stepping outside of your own body and viewing the moment of the offense from the perspective of the offender. This is very similar to what you suggest, just a little more concrete. Hope it’s helpful.

By: peg barry

peg barry — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 00:08:40 +0000

Read “god is not great - and how religion poisons everything” by Christopher Hitchens if you want to learn even stranger ideas from most of the world religions. I’m keeping it simple - just what has worked for me. I don’t plan on saving the world. I’d rather light one candle than curse the darkness - I believe that came from a Maryknoll priest.

By: godless

godless — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 03:48:01 +0000

I think “letting go” and forgiving are two different things. Many religious people have been coerced to “forgive” those who offend them, and to accept a “forgiveness by proxy.”

Here is how that proxy works. Imagine that I commit some terrible crime against you and do it without any remorse whatsoever. A third party, unknown personally to both of us, says, “I forgive you for doing this unspeakable evil, you are now pure.” It is not his place to make this absolution, yet such a proxy is the mainstay of at least one world religion.

We are under no obligation to forgive, but we can make our lives less bothersome by letting go.