salesliesnew 150x150 WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO BE?   from Sales, Lies and Naked TruthsChapter nineteen –


You’ve heard “what do you want to be when you grow up?” since you were three years old pulling your red wagon or playing with your dolls. That question branded an imprint on all of us.  Almost a guilt trip.  The need to decide.

It got worse in college.  Now it was really serious.  Pick a major.  There’s money involved here.  Student loans.  Make a decision.  The heat got turned up. But thinking back on it, isn’t it a little silly for an 18 year old to make such an important decision?

It was easier years ago.  The days of what I refer to as the “gas company mentality” are over.  People no longer work for the same company for 40 years, collect a gold watch, a retirement dinner and a pension. So we have to change too.

Many of you did choose a profession and you are working in it now.  You didn’t know what else to do.  It was a job based on your college major perhaps.

It may not be want you really want.  But what we all tend to do is wait.  Maybe it will get better.  Maybe I’ll get an offer from a new company.  Maybe I’ll get a raise or a great new client.  I have a lot invested here.  Time.  Money.  Loans.  I have credit card debt.  I have a mortgage.  Kids.  College costs looming.

In the meantime, the companies that we have declared allegiance to may not always be so loyal to us.  You’ve heard the words.  Downsizing.  Outsourcing.  Eliminating or combining a position.  Fancy new words for being fired.

A Harvard MBA half your age comes in and changes the whole company.  You have new quotas.  You make your quota and they raise it.  New standards.  Zero tolerance.  Conform.  Produce.  Learn that new software.  Or you’re out.

And you are out at 50 years old.  Not 30.  A challenge to get a new job or switch fields.

Someone called me to recommend a life coach.

I didn’t know what a life coach was.  I did some research.  I found out there are no real educational or certificate licensing requirements.  You are not dealing with mentally ill people.  What a life coach does is act as a mirror and a paid friend to someone who really has the answers within them already.  All of us get stuck once in a while.  We are undecided.  We procrastinate.

A life coach is a cheerleader.  Not a therapist.  It is dealing with the RIGHT NOW.  Not the past.  We don’t talk about whether you were in love with your galoshes when you were two.    I decided I had learned enough from all my own personal and business mistakes to be a pretty good life coach.

I called back.  I had my first client.

I needed more to do. I volunteered to teach a spiritual thought system – not a religion – called A Course in Miracles in Cook County Jail.  I did that for over two years.

The men in my class at the jail were the most fearful criminals in the city.  Murderers, big drug dealers, gang chiefs, burglars, I wouldn’t let them tell me why they were in jail.  I couldn’t teach love and forgiveness if I knew.  They were the smartest men I had ever met.

They taught me two words that are important to know.  TRANSFERABLE  SKILLS.  Many of these men could run Microsoft.  It was just a matter of redirecting their knowledge and energy.  I told them.  As a big drug dealer you learned everything you need to run a business.  Hiring.  Credit.  Management.  Accounting.  Distribution.  Sales.  Marketing.  I told them when you get out, get yourself on a different track using the same skills.

Transferable skills mean that what you learned working in McDonald’s in High School you are still using today in your business.  That means that what you have learned in your present job you can use in another business.

While all this was going on,  I took a class on how to produce a TV show at Chicago Access Corporation.  Just for fun.

I had run a travel agency for years.

I found that running a travel agency and producing a TV show were very similar.  It was putting the pieces together.  In travel it was research, airfare, hotels, sightseeing, transfers – in a TV show it was cameras, crew, lights, research, content, editing.  Pieces.

In most business it comes down to contacts.  Recommendations.  I rarely advertise as a life coach.  People send their friends.   In the TV business, authors got the word out.  Publicity is a small town.  It gets around if you have a good show.  I started getting the top authors.  The ones you see on Oprah and Larry King.  Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, Andrew Weil. All the best sellers.

Then the impossible happened.  A major Satellite television company called Wisdom Television picked up my show.  I mean, who hires a middle aged woman interviewer unless she is Barbara Walters?  A fun hobby turned into a new career.

Then bango.  After several years, they canceled all new production on Wisdom.  The owner died and the heirs wanted to sell the channel.  They sold it and my show was not picked up by the new owners although they still  do reruns.

So I am famous. (if you get no residual money from the program, does that count?)  People come up to me in Los Angeles on the street – in Detroit at the airport – in Schaumburg, IL.  at Home Depot to tell me they like the show.  But no money. At least for now.

But, I have my life coach and media coach practice.  And I have TRANFERABLE SKILLS. Another new venture, based on my experience in interviewing, is I have started media coaching.

This is an oversimplification, because everyone is different, but here are some of the basic things I have learned and what some of my clients need to hear in any business venture.

1.  Be careful about giving credit.  You are not a bank.  Don’t do a lot of work without money up front.

2.  Be willing to try something new.  But go work for someone in the new field – even for nothing if you have to.  Businesses fail for 2 reasons.  Lack of capital or lack of experience.  You may succeed with one of these lacking but not both.  Make your mistakes on somebody else’s’ money.

3.  Follow your gut. You have a hidden gift.  What is it?   You know more than you think.  Follow the     energy right in front of you.  If it feels wrong, stop.

4.  Don’t – don’t share your dreams with just anyone.  They will shoot you down.  Don’t ask a lawyer,     real estate broker, stockbroker if they are in a good business.  They will say, “It used to be good. Not any more.  Don’t even think about it.”  They don’t want the competition. Your own family will discourage you because they are afraid.  Everyone wants you to cling to the devil you know.

5.  There is power in Intention.  Don’t shoot your own dreams down. Keep putting the thought out there and see yourself where you want to be.  Don’t cancel the energy by seeing even the possibility of failure.  Not unless you decide later that you really are racing a three legged horse.  You may not be.

6.  Don’t hand bullets to someone who is holding a gun on you.  You know who I mean.  The person who will use your confidences against you later.

7.  Don’t get into a fight your can’t win.  It wastes energy.  .

8.  Most of all.  In business or personal life – love the people you are dealing with.  Force yourself to love them.  Visualize them in your mind with love.  99 % of communication is mental.

9.  Stop selling.    Start helping.  Don’t count commissions if you are in sales until they are in your hand.  It prevents you from doing the very best for your client.

I’ve been a life coach and media coach  for years now.  So, am I suggesting that you should quit your job?  No.  I am saying you should consider an additional job or develop your hobby.  As a back up.  As protection.

A test is when you get the Sunday papers, which section do you read first?  These are all clues. For example.  You’ve always said that one day you would write a book.  Do you know how many people have said that to me? When you have time.

I’m going to give you a short course in how to write a book.  Write.  Get a yellow pad and a manila folder.  When you get a thought while you are stuck in traffic or at the dentist office, write it down.  Don’t let the muse get away.  Put it into the manila folder.  Forget it. After a while, you have written a book.  I have written many books just this way.

Maybe you have artistic ability.  Make something.  Paint something.  Collect these things and get a booth at an art fair.  When someone asks if you are an artist, say yes. If you’re good with figures, take a tax course.  Do taxes for people.  Maybe for a few dollars or even free.  It could be a future business.

If you love kids, go back to school and get a teachers certificate.  You can always teach.  Even after you retire.  We always need teachers and they have a lot of vacation time. You have a talent.  You know what it is.  A dream you have not yet followed.

Do it in a small way while you still have a job.  Because you never know what will happen in this crazy economy.

And you don’t want to end up on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale talking about the good old days when you haven’t had the good days you deserve.

You just have to keep reinventing yourself.

 I’m going to ask you the question I started out with.

What else do you want to be when you grow up?

Will you start doing it now?

salesliesnew 150x150 WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO BE?   from Sales, Lies and Naked Truths

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If you are in sales (and we all are) you need this book

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salesliesnew 150x150 THE BIG IDEA    When to Bail Out   from Sales Lies and Naked TruthsChapter eighteen -


You’ve done your homework. You have read every self-help and success book on the planet. Everything from Donald Trump, Jack Welch, Lee Iacocca to The Power of Intention. Every article in Entrepreneur Magazine – every blog

You are ready with your million dollar idea.

They have taught you how to proceed. Roughly, it goes like this:
1. Find your passion
2. Meditate on it daily


3. Set your  goal

4. Take action
5. Don’t let anyone discourage you
6. Get help where you need it
7. Be prepared to work hard
8. Be persistent
9. Persevere no matter what
10. Never, never give up

You have done all of the above and have spent a huge amount of time, energy and money on your project.

nothing is working.

So –

11. Give up

GIVE UP?????

It could have been a great idea whose time has not come – or an idea that just wouldn’t fly if you put it on a helicopter.


This does not mean you give up on YOU. It means it is time to try something else.

Now label yourself as an entrepreneur in training.

Training is the operable word here. You did not come out of this effort without benefit. You have achieved a Ph.D. with the operation you just abandoned. You learned a lot from the effort. You have become a successful person in business.

Those are transferable skills you can use as you develop a new dream.

I owned and operated a very successful, small travel agency for twenty years. Things were going well. Our “partners,” the airlines, treated us like Kings and Queens. I never flew coach the whole time.

Things started to change. Not only were we not upgraded to First Class, travel agents were suddenly stand by passengers.

I remember being bumped off at least four flights on the way from Miami to Chicago. Took me 12 hours to get home.

Then the airlines started cutting our commissions. They made deals with our big commercial travelers. Guaranteed special fares for them. They denied this but our accounts told us. They said they loved us but they could not afford to pass up the prices they were offered.

I was racing a “three legged horse.” This City Hall was too big to buck. You can’t fight a whole group of major airline carriers who are after your business.

Other agencies hung in there. I didn’t. I sold my agency. I sold it to people who just wanted to have the “fun” of owning a travel agency.

I needed to make money. They didn’t. I was probably one of the last agencies that actually sold. If you notice, there are few neighborhood agencies anymore. Most just closed.

But, do you know what terrific training it is to run a travel agency?

If you can do it successfully you can run Microsoft.

. It is all pieces that you put together to make a trip. Air, hotels, transfers, sightseeing, special requests. And sales. Public relations. Copywriting. Negotiation. Human resources. Accounting.

So, what you have attempted has left you with similar abilities that you did not have before.

You can use those talents anywhere no matter what you decide to dream up next.

Knowing when to give up and start something new is not easy. It is like giving up your new baby but you must have confidence in the fact that your inner guidance will lead you to the next project.

And it will not be so hard for you with all your experience

It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded.

There is a million dollar idea out there. Keep looking for it. Don’t give up the intention. Just the idea you left behind.

Do not throw the baby out with the bathwater.


You are smarter now.


salesliesnew 150x150 THE BIG IDEA    When to Bail Out   from Sales Lies and Naked Truths

This is an excerpt -

If you are in sales (and we all are) you need this book

Click here now and buy in paperback

    or to purchase in Kindle.


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