41KGNB-DScL-2THE YEARS BETWEEN

 

There were millions of us,

the women of the ’70s

who were taught

that if you were home at three,

when children arrived with empty lunch boxes,

 

and learned to make gourmet meals

out of chicken breasts and mushroom soup,

 

and gave birthday parties for 30 kids,

hot dogs, a clown

and homemade cake,

helped with homework,

had teachers conferences,

joined the PTA, were fund raisers

and room mothers,

 

you’d never be seen in a police station,

arguing with a red necked cop,

that the marijuana was planted on your son.

 

Nobody gave advice

on how to appear in court at three AM,

with cash, no checks,

to explain to a judge

that the pills belonged to the boy who got away.

 

Or, how to hire criminal lawyers, at enormous fees,

who make deals with a States Attorney

to reduce charges to misdemeanors

and get probation instead of jail sentences.

 

There was no course at Adult Education

on late night visitors, shifty eyes, strange hours,

unexplained accidents, foggy looks

absences from school, hysterical crying

 

socks in closets, stiff with glue

odd little packages with white papers,

drug paraphernalia,

 

and long sleeved shirts in hot weather.

 

There were so many of us in the ’70s

bright, earnest women,

with college educations,

clean houses,

holiday dinners,

nice families

who lacked training.

 

and lost children

because we were too busy

being good mothers.

This is an excerpt

To find your copy

in Kindle

or Paperback on Amazon

click on the link you prefer.

 

ce computerCorinne Edwards takes us through the years of her life in the republish of her first book of poetry. From beginning to end, it reads like a story.  With emotion and transparency, she reveals a period of her life, the challenges in coping with the deaths of her son, mother and husband.  She includes us in her early days, musings, disappointments and even her love affairs It culminates with her philosophy about loss in her final poems.

.Corinne’s poems have been published in the Chicago Sun Times, North Shore Magazine, Poetry Today and was a winner in a Chicago Fine Arts poetry contest.  She has included some in her other published books.

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2372169300_4efbe8cfbd_mHolding on to the past is trying to breathe life into a play which is closed.  It is struggling to raise the curtain in a dark theatre, on a dusty stage, by ourselves.

The other players have left.  The stage in empty.

It is going over our everyone’s lines, long since said, playing all the parts – alone.  It is being stuck.

It is entrapment in a time warp.  The costumes no longer fit.  The buttons have popped.  We are different people today but we still force the action.

It is a brutal attack on ourselves, because we become, on this stage, both the victim and the attacker.

Jerry Jampolsky, author of Love Is Letting Go Of Fear, says that “Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past.”

We don’t forgive ourselves.  We get caught in the “if onlies,” hanging on to dreams which did not come true, losses – a loved person who has died, an unhappy childhood, a love affair which did not end happily ever after, a youth gone – opportunities which have disappeared.

The game is over, but we are bad sports.  We refuse to accept defeat.  We run the tape over and over.  We can put it on rewind but we can’t get into the movie anymore.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, author of many wonderful books, likens it to our holding on to the bars of a cage.  We rattle them, desperately trying to get free.  But the bars are just in front of us.  If we look to the right, to the left or behind us, there are no bars.

All we have to do is turn around and walk away.

We are looking for love in that past.  A cry that was not answered, a happy childhood, that lover who left, that job to validate us.  We wanted to feel safe, wanted, worthwhile.

Yet we know that we cannot infuse love into what is gone.  We can only give and receive love now.

We have shackled ourselves in bondage.  It is time to walk away from the cage.

The past is not holding us.  We are holding it.

Picture all your past relationships, now lifeless forms, hanging on hooks in a closet.  The closet goes with you wherever you go.

The relationships are part of you – they have made up your experience – but you are no longer part of them.  Although you carry them with you, you can no longer breathe life into them. They are your past.

You can open the closet door and look at the array.  But, if you take them out and try to carry them around, they are a heavy and unnecessary burden.

Bits and pieces are pinned on these hanging forms as progress is made through forgiveness.  And, it is possible that you may meet again in the present, but it will always be a new relationship.

You travel with your closet, filling it more and more each day.  But it is carried for you.  There is no need for you to put it on your back.

You cannot lose it because it is the summation of who you are.  But it no longer applies to your present except as experience and learning.

These are the records of your life and of your heart.  It is up to you to decide to keep the door closed, or to live within the boundaries of a closet.

We can’t put the past on rewind.  The buttons are stuck.  The actors have gone on to other roles. The set has been dismantled.

The movie is over.

For all of Corinne’s books with descriptions, click here

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CORINNE EDWARDS BOOKS – Descriptions – on Amazon

Tweet A fiction ghost story. This quirky comedy features a deceased husband who disrupts his widow’s life by refusing to leave the earth. The story opens in a funeral parlor where a car-salesman type of director is trying to sell the widow an expensive coffin. The ghost of her husband arrives to insist, “I will […]

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WHEN YOUR HUSBAND HAS DIED – Changes – on Amazon

Tweet CHAPTER TWO  –  CHANGES At first, I had a lot of attention from friends. I was included in activities just as I had when I was married. Then, slowly, it started to change. I was still invited to the big parties but not to the dinner parties or the pizza on Friday nights. That […]

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WHEN YOU CANT FORGIVE – from Are We Spiritual Yet? – on Amazon

Tweet CHAPTER EIGHT  You may have done a lot of work in forgiveness. You are almost done. But, there is that one person left. The one who has hurt you the most. No matter what you do, you can’t forgive the harm. We all have that one. We are not saints. And yet, we know […]

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WHY NOT WRITE A MEMOIR? – from Write Your Book – Publish Your Book – Promote Your Book

Tweet CHAPTER FIVE – Solemn faces on a tintype. Children starched in a row. His hand rests upon her shoulder. Ancestors from long ago. Was there passion in that couple? Did they fight? Did she cry? Did their world lay smashed around them when that child she’s holding died? Family pictures. Serious people. A faded […]

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