light2

How many women with menopause does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer:

One!  ONLY ONE!  And do you know WHY?

Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb!  They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!

They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out

And once they figured it out they wouldn’t be able to find the (bleeping) light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the

SAME CABINET FOR THE PAST 17 YEARS!

But if they did,

By some

MIRACLE OF GOD, ACTUALLY FIND THEM,

THREE DAYS LATER,

THE CHAIR THEY DRAGGED TO STAND ON

TO CHANGE THE STUPID LIGHT BULB

WOULD

STILL BE

IN THE SAME

SPOT

AND

UNDERNEATH IT

WOULD BE THE

WRAPPER

OF THE FREAKING LIGHT BULB CAME IN.

BECAUSE NO ONE PICKS UP

OR CARRIES

OUT THE GARBAGE!

IT’S A WONDER

WE HAVEN’T

ALL

SUFFOCATED

FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE

THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP

THROUGH

THE ENTIRE HOUSE

IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY

TO CLEAN THIS PLACE

AND DON’T GET ME STARTED

ON WHY NO ONE EVER

CHANGES

THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!

 

I’m sorry.  What was the question again?

(Unknown author.  But too funny not to share.  If it is yours, let me know)

To find your copy of  Corinne’s books on Amazon click here

{ 5 comments }

mother heaven

“Do you want to go to a séance?” she asked.

My friend, Evelyn, was one of the foremost psychics in Chicago.  She told me she and a few other psychics were regularly asked by the Chicago Police Department to consult on locating murder cases.

I don’t know if the police will admit to this, but I know that Evelyn would not lie. The unique aspect of her service is that she refused to charge. She felt it was a Divine gift she was given and it should not be exploited for money.

Of course, I said YES!  The idea was so intriguing and the thought that there would be a possibility of hearing from some of my departed loved ones was irresistible.

The evening of the séance arrived. We climbed three flights to a modest apartment where it was about to begin.

The lights were put out and many candles were lit to reveal the medium, an elderly lady, who was lying in a long white gown on a sofa in the middle of the room. There were about 30 people attending. It felt a little spooky.

She began by calling forth her angels and guides. Then there was a long silence as she waited for them to appear.

Finally, she spoke.

“It is snowing and very cold. The guides who are with us are American Indians They are sitting in front of their teepee. They have messages for us but they are waiting.”

Another long silence.

“They are awaiting energy from this group. We must bring up the energy by singing “Ten Little Indians.”

Everyone started singing the song over and over for about ten minutes. Still no messages.

At this point, I was thinking, “What the h–l was I doing in this crazy place singing a song about Indians?”

Suddenly, I heard a very distinct, clear voice in my head .It was not audible.

It said several times, “There is no insurance policy!”

WHAT? I was not looking for an insurance policy.Why was I getting this message? What was I supposed to do with this information?

The medium was about to give up. The energy was not right for this night.

Rather embarrassed since I was the newcomer, I spoke up. I told the group what I had heard.

The lights went back on. A man I did not know came over to me.

“Thank you. My sister insisted that my mother left a large insurance policy and I came tonight to ask the medium.”

Why did I get the message instead of the medium? I have wondered about it for a long time.

I have always been psychic. Always “known” things since I was a child. I thought everyone was like that. My mother was psychic. My grandmother read tea leaves for anyone in the neighborhood.  I believe we all are if it is not discouraged by our parents when we are young.

I would not be qualified to put out my shingle because the things that just “came to me”- arrived like this – in flashes. I would not be a reliable “reader” like Slade who communicates with spirit guides and angels .I never knew where these messages came from – they just came.

I guess I will have to ask Slade.

A quote from his blog:

“Divinity is not supernatural — it’s supercommon. Magic can be found in the mundane — the power is all around you. You have a spiritual support staff of benevolent entities who protect you and guide you on your life’s mission.”

What do you think?  Why didn’t the medium get the message?

 

For all of Corinne’s books on Amazon click here

{ 4 comments }

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