Are We Spiritual Yet 150x150 MESSAGE FROM THE BEYOND   from Are We Spiritual Yet   on AmazonCHAPTER THIRTEEN –  LEE AND A MESSAGE FROM THE BEYOND

I met Lee when she was in her late sixties.

She had been a great beauty in her time. After a failed marriage and the disintegration of her relationship with her only son, she had several “friendships” with very wealthy men.

She was a gorgeous ”trophy” girlfriend. They took her to exclusive restaurants – and all over the world, staying in the finest hotels, sailing on the most luxurious ships and bought her jewels, clothes – gave her money and anything else she wanted.

When I met Lee she was far beyond her prime. She reminded me of a tiny, old silent screen star – long bleached blonde hair, wearing heavy eye makeup and inappropriate clothing which ranged from glitzy outfits to cowboy attire with lots of fringe.

Sometimes, when she reminisced, she talked about one of her favorite places – the Capri Palace Hotel at the top of Anacapri Mountain with spectacular views over the Bay of Naples. But she had seen and done it all.

She latched on to me as a prospective drinking buddy. Decided I was a perfect candidate. I lived nearby and was single.

But I could not go beyond one or two drinks at the Pump Room, which was a geriatric singles bar on Friday nights. I was a big disappointment to her.

One morning, she called to ask me how she happened to have 50 balloons in her apartment when she woke up. I didn’t know since I had left at 9 PM. There were no balloons around at that time.

Since she knew every bartender in Chicago, I suggested she make a few calls to solve the after 9 PM mystery. She hung up on me.

Later, she told me she still liked me but I wasn’t much of a sport.

I plead guilty to the charge.

Lee always had a scheme of how she would make millions with a new idea. She was smart but not a good business person. She always lost money when they failed. She never looked back. Just went on to the next.

Then, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her doctors offered many options from surgery to chemotherapy to radiation.

She refused them all – instead, she decided to live the way she always did. She bought expensive new clothes and booked a three week luxury cruise to the Orient.

She gave herself an extravagant 70th birthday lunch in an exclusive restaurant. It was over $100. a person. Of course, we all had to pay the bill. But, that was Lee.

She was well for about a year until the cancer took over. She was dying and had no resistance to it happening.

Although she had regrets about the lack of communication with her son and his children, she felt she had not missed a thing in her life. She had been everywhere, done everything. There was nothing else to do.

A few days before she died, she called me and asked me to come to see her.

When I arrived, she was in full makeup and dressed in a beautiful silk nightgown.

Her mind was very clear.

She came right to the point. She said, “I have always thought when you died, you just went into the eathers of the Universe and were no more. I want to know what you think.”

I told her I thought that our identity lived on in spirit. In thought.

And that there was a life that was lived on the other side.

We talked about the Robin Williams movie, What Dreams May Come, where we could create anything we wanted with our thoughts.

She liked that idea.

She said, “I want to live in a beautiful hotel like the Capri Palace, have all the money I want and order anything I need from room service!”

Then, she added, “And if that movie is true, I’ll make a deal with you.

I’ll get back to you somehow and let you know.”

A year later, I went to the ceremony in the cemetery to dedicate her stone.

I had heard nothing from her.

Afterwards, there was a lunch. Her son had come with his children.

We were all sitting around during dessert telling “Lee stories.”

There were so many wonderful and outrageous ones.

Her little eight year old grandson was sitting across from me at the table. He had seldom seen his grandmother.

All of a sudden, he piped up.

“I had a dream about my grandmother last night.”

We stopped to let him talk. He continued,

“I dreamed she was very happy. She was living in a beautiful hotel that was very high on a mountain. You could see all around from that hotel.”

People like Lee leave a big hole in our energy system when they depart this world. They are not ordinary and take up a lot of space that needs to be replaced.

I miss her. So does everyone else who knew this extraordinary and flamboyant character.

She never got a PH.d. but she used her gifts to get along in life. Beauty, charm, intelligence and a lack of fear to take chances.

Some may regard these as shallow, but who are we to judge someone who did the best they could with what they had?

I am happy she is in Capri. She loved it there.

Thanks for getting back to us, Lee. You kept your promise.

This is an excerpt from Are We Spiritual Yet?

Are We Spiritual Yet 150x150 MESSAGE FROM THE BEYOND   from Are We Spiritual Yet   on AmazonClick here now and buy in paperback

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This post is dedicated to our much loved, Robin Williams, who is keeping everyone laughing in Heaven. “Genie, you’re free!”

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Love On The Rocks Bad Relationships Good Endings 150x150 HEALING AFTER A BREAK UP    from Love On The Rocks   on AmazonCHAPTER TWO – STEPS TO HEALING

Time has passed.  You were together a long time.

You’re done. You hope you are.

After much careful thought and pain, you know the relationship is over – you’ve ended the relationship in your mind. You no longer have to speak those nasty words.

But you are in a state of limbo. You have almost no emotion left. You are numb.

How to start over? You know no other life.

This one probably went on for a long time and it was more like Chinese water torture.

Constant criticism, disapproval, disrespect. You could never do anything right. And the worst part about it is that you kept coming back for more. Trying to please. Looking for approval. Like a puppy who keeps bounding back only to be slapped down again.

It could be the smallest trigger that finally starts to end it for you. Almost a minor event. A receipt found for an expensive piece of jewelry. An email from “her.” He came two hours late to pick up the children. A nasty text.

There is a “click.”

You finally have taken all you will take. All of a sudden, this person was starting to be history.

The initial reaction is exhilaration. Free at last! Free at last!

Then, about a week later, a sadness comes in. Did you act rashly? Were you unkind? Did you make a mistake? Funny how the victim blames themselves.

When a relationship ends it is like a death. You are in mourning. There is also some anger mixed in like what was wrong with you that you put up with it for so long.

You were not wrong in ending it. But the absence of abuse leaves a hole in your life that you have not learned to fill.

You have more work to do.

Here are some suggestions. Don’t discuss it with your friends. Rehashing it over and over brings back the pain.

What you might seriously consider, if you have not already done so, is see a therapist. This time you are going for YOU. Not to repair the relationship.

Not to justify your actions but perhaps to find out what is in your background that allowed you to put up with this for so long. There are so many instances where people keep ending up with the same abusive person with a different name and face. You don’t want to repeat this.

Expect that there is this new space in your life that you will have to fill with other       things. But, you don’t have to do it immediately. You need time to adjust to all this free time where you are feeling unworthy.

Try not to plug the space with another person. You have other friends. See them. Treat yourself as a person with post traumatic stress disorder. You are in a process of healing.

Go to bed an hour earlier every day. Do not take on any extra responsibilities. Just go about your normal routine – nothing more.

Fill your extra time with some comfort. When is the last time you had a massage?A pedicure? Go shopping and buy yourself a celebration gift. Does not have to be expensive – just something you would enjoy seeing on your coffee table.

Buy flowers every week. Just for you. Not because you are entertaining.

Keep a journal of how you feel every day. Do not read it for a month. You will see then how far you have come.

Even the worst relationships have had some good moments. Write about these in your journal. There were some benefits. It was not all wasted time.

Remind yourself that we learn more from our failures than our successes.

Everyone will tell you to exercise. You don’t feel like it. But park your car further away from the supermarket or office. Get off the bus the block before your stop. A little activity can help you.

Be prepared that the person who is gone may not go away quietly. Have a plan how you will react if they suddenly start calling, or writing or showing up or sending you cards and gifts. Keep your plan.

You have taken a step in your life that is important. Give yourself credit for it.

The step is called self love.  Self approval.

Congratulations! You have started to love yourself at last.

This is an excerpt.    To read the whole book- on Amazon.

Click here now and buy in paperback

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Love On The Rocks Bad Relationships Good Endings 150x150 HEALING AFTER A BREAK UP    from Love On The Rocks   on Amazon

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